Andy 60 Posted April 9, 2007 From the last Doctor Who episode: Doctor: This lot have still got one foot in the Dark Ages, if I tell them the truth they'll panic and think it's witchcraft. Martha: Okay, what is it then? Doctor: Witchcraft. hehe. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy 60 Posted June 3, 2007 From okCupid's settings panel: If you'd like to change your password, do it here. Pick something easy to remember, like the word "password." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ender 8 Posted June 4, 2007 From Friday's Stargate SG-1 Bad Guy: Wait! Where are you going? Teal'c: I am leaving. You are about to explode. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pandora 77 Posted June 4, 2007 Ha ha! Gotta love Teal'q! Came across this one last night in a book. "The birth of clothing was the end of modesty." -Mark Twain Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Princess 35 Posted June 4, 2007 Dr. Cameron: Sex COULD kill you. Do you know what the human body goes through when you have sex? Pupils dilate, arteries constrict, core temperature rises, heart races, blood pressure skyrockets, respiration becomes rapid and shallow, the brain fires bursts of electrical impulses from nowhere to nowhere, and secretions spit out of every gland, and the muscles tense and spasm like you're lifting three times your body weight. It's violent. It's ugly. And it's messy. And if God hadn't made it UNBELIEVABLY fun, the human race would have died out eons ago. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Radioactive Isotope 29 Posted June 4, 2007 :lol: i LOVE that quote!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bad furday 57 Posted June 6, 2007 :rofl: I wonder why? ;) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheUnknown 39 Posted June 19, 2007 Quotes from an important episode Beast Wars: "A deed once done cannot be undone, but perhaps it may yet be mitigated!" "The question that once haunted my being has been answered: the future is not fixed; my choices are my own. And yet, how ironic, for I know find I have no choice at all. I am a warrior. Let the battle be joined!" "Tell my tale to those who ask - tell it truly, the ill deeds, along with the good, and let me be judged accordingly. The rest is silence." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Drake 53 Posted June 19, 2007 Ah, Dinobot's end. He was such a badass. I liked Depth Charge better, though. And I just couldn't get enough of Rhinox's chain guns. :lol: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Drake 53 Posted June 24, 2007 From Dark Nest II: The Unseen Queen.....yes, I'm just reading it now. Luke took the weapon from his belt, but instead of returning it to Alema, he opened the hilt and removed the Adegan focusing crystal from inside. "It pains me to say this, Alema." He began to squeeze, calling on the Force to bolster his strength, and felt the crystal shatter. "But you are no longer fit to carry a lightsaber." Alema's eyes flashed with rage. "That means nothing!" Her lekku began to writhe and twitch, but she managed to retain control of herself and turned toward the door. "We'll just build another." "I know." Luke turned his hand sideways and let the crystal dust fall to the floor. "And I'll take that one away too." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheUnknown 39 Posted August 10, 2007 I love the commercial for season three of Meerkat Manor: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJFGV4q9J4k If we could see the future... What would we see? A family, A journey, A new home, Forbidden Romance, A new war we may not survive, Something's coming! I feel it in the wind. And every beating heart around me... And it all begins. NOW. Sounds Star Wars-y, in a way. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Drake 53 Posted August 17, 2007 From the Looking For Group web comic... Cale: For Gamlon! Richard: For Pony! Cale: What? You can't use that as your battle cry! Richard: Why not? You have one. Cale: Mine is for nobility, honor and a deceased yet no longer forgotten people. Richard: Mine is for ponies. Cale: That's not... Richard: FOR PONY! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bad furday 57 Posted August 17, 2007 CorSec? Is that you in disguise? :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Drake 53 Posted August 17, 2007 He died and became a warlock in a fantasy web comic. :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ayingel 24 Posted August 22, 2007 from Earthquake Take of your pantyhose, dammit! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mara 29 Posted August 24, 2007 From an e-mail I got.... You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on... If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this: ??????????? COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou. ABBOTT: Your computer? COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou. ABBOTT: What about Windows? COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here? AB BOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows? COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows? ABBOTT: Wallpaper. COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software. ABBOTT: Software for Windows? COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business.? What do you have? ABBOTT: Office. COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything? ABBOTT: I just did. COSTELLO: You just did what? ABBOTT: Recommend something. COSTELLO: You recommended something? ABBOTT: Yes. COSTELLO: For my office? ABBOTT: Yes. COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office? ABBOTT: Office. COSTELLO: Yes, for my office! ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows. COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need? ABBOTT: Word. COSTELLO: What word? ABBOTT: Word in Office. COSTELLO: The only word in office is office. ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows. COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows? ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W". COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: I need money to track my money? ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer. COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer? ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge. COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much? ABBOTT: One copy. COSTELLO: Isn' t it illegal to copy money? ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money. COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money? ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT! ???????? (A few days later) ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off? ABBOTT: Click on "START"............. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Radioactive Isotope 29 Posted August 24, 2007 haha! it's like their "Who's on First" routine. i LOVE those guys! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mara 29 Posted August 24, 2007 I know. I love it. It's good to know this guy I work with can at least send out a decent forward. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy 60 Posted August 30, 2007 Just read the back of one of my birthday cards... This card was produced from beautiful European trees which are hacked into little pieces by burly Scandinavians with big beards. However, they are followed by the good tree fairy who plants more trees in their place. Thus ensuring a continued income for the burly Scandinavians of tomorrow. :lol: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Radioactive Isotope 29 Posted August 30, 2007 :lol: that's great! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mara 29 Posted August 30, 2007 Haha... at least some people can be honest. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Radioactive Isotope 29 Posted September 12, 2007 this one from a book i'm reading: Often I must speak otherwise than I think. That is called diplomacy. and these from a MySpace bulletin from my friend Rachel These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo? WITNESS: We both do. ATTORNEY: Voodoo? WITNESS: We do. ATTORNEY: You do? WITNESS: Yes, voodoo. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you sitht'in me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Uh.... I was gett'in laid! ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Are you sitht'in me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Guess. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him! ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And the best for last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ayingel 24 Posted September 12, 2007 ...gucci makes sweats? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
