Lines and Quotes

[Drake 53]

It's happened before. Not much of a suprise now. It's no longer funny.

Edited August 8, 2005 by Drake

[GI_Admiral 2]

Oh snap

[Ender 8]

Prisoner: This technology is much more advanced than that of the Elycians...

McKay: Than isn't it ironic that we were shot down by the cast of Braveheart?!

~Stargate Atlantis

[Drake 53]

:lol:

Oh McKay...you're an endless fountain of wit and humour.

[TheUnknown 39]

Some quotes from a blog:

i was just cleaning out my email files and found something a friend sent me a while ago. quotes from Steven Wright:

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.

Half the people you know are below average.

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.

All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

[GI_Admiral 2]

Haha those are great

[Andy 60]

Best quote ever:

"I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly."

Winston Churchill (I forget who he was speeaking to)

[Princess 35]

heh, just read this one in a book

Chocolate is essential at certain times of the month.  Not necessarily for my health, but for the health of all the males around me

[Ender 8]

From Battlestar Galactica:

President Laura Roslin: Doctor, I need your help, but it's illegal, dangerous, and a violation of your oath as an officer.

Doctor Cottle: You're a lousy salesman.

Lt. Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: Didn't see any shiny silver out there. I think we're dealing with the human variety.

Lt. Karl 'Helo' Agathon: Hope so. They're not as tough as mechanicals.

Lt. Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: Yeah, they do bleed good, though. You gotta like that.

...................................................................

From Stargate: SG-1

O'Neill: "It's time for Plan B."

Carter: "We have a Plan B?"

O'Neill: "No, but it's time for one."

O'Neill: "Y'know Siler, I expect to be put into your will after this."

Siler: "You already are, sir,"

O'Neill: "Okay, that's ...weird."

Daniel: "It was a procedure often done in the Middle Ages. They... well, they'd drill a hole in the person's head. By drilling a hole the evil spirits are released, thus saving the person from eternal damnation."

Jack O'Neill: "Thus... saving the person?"

Daniel: "Well, they didn't call them the Dark Ages because it was dark."

Carter: "Is there any chance you can get the Russians to give us their DHD?"

Daniel: "Not without giving back Alaska."

Carter: "Tense? Me? I'm not tense. Am I? When did you first notice?"

O'Neill: "As we met."

Teal'c: "Undomesticated equines could not remove me."

Teal'c: "Daniel Jackson?s preliminary electroencephalogram proved anomalous."

O'Neill: "I dare you to say that again."

Daniel: This pot says 'The universe is infinite."

Vala: That is infinitly useless; what does this one say?

Daniel: The treasure is in this pot.

Vala: Really?

Vala: I think at first it's what I didn't say. You see, apparently there's a blessing you're supposed to recite over the leaves before you drink, which nobody warned me about. Then I think it's what I did say. I was trying to politely explain what was going on and then his wife started screaming and accusing me of being overcome. At which point I believe I suggested she might want to think about procreation?with herself

...........................................................

From Stargate: Atlantis

Dr. Weir: "I'm still trying to understand how you thought it was a good idea to test this device by having someone throw you off a balcony."

Dr. McKay: "Oh, believe me, that's not the first thing we tried."

John Sheppard: "I shot him." [Dr. Weir gives him a weird look]

John Sheppard: "In the leg!"

Dr. McKay: "I'm invulnerable!"

Dr. Weir: "Aren't you the one who's always spouting off about how proper and careful scientific procedure must be adhered to?"

Dr. McKay: "IN - VUL - NER - ABLE!"

Major Lorne:"Wow, you must really be some kind of genius."

McKay: "Well, as a matter of fact I ...eh, wait a minute, why would you say that now?"

Major Lorne: "Something has to be kept Colonel Sheppard from shooting you all this time."

McKay: "I knew this would happen. You come in here with your brush cuts and your guns, but when Atlantis needs saving, who do you turn to? The scientists."

Weir: "When was the last time you slept, Doctor?"

McKay: "Yeah, yeah, shut up, I have an idea"

Dr. Zelenka: "Lt. Ford, would you mind being the subject of research papers on statistical probability?"

Lt. Ford: "Is this some sort of payback for guys like me beating up guys like you in high school?"

Ford: "Gateship One, ready to go."

Sheppard: "Gateship One? This puddlejumper?"

Ford: "It's a ship, that goes through a gate. Gateship!"

Sheppard: "Well, then it's official. You don't get to name anything ever again."

Edited September 28, 2005 by Ender

[Chickenman 9]

Good stuff. I oughta check those out on DVD.

[Drake 53]

From the Jade Empire game credits...when a couple of the main characters do a running commentary...

Dawn Star: "I saw Jade Empire as a chance to branch out into more legitimate acting. I get a lot of comments about what I used to do on stage...but you did what you had to do when starting out."

Sagacious Zu: "Sometimes the competition got tough. I mean...here I am, a badass loner with a dangerous past and what happens? I'll tell you. Someone discovers Drunken Style and spends the rest of the game with that chuckle head Hou throwing booze at his head."

[Ana 15]

Various things that my professors have said in class:

Grier: I love the way Hobbes writes. Things are always arisething.

Seiver: *looks at the board* I just made all those lines there, right?

Jones: Little Red Crap... I mean Cap, by the Brothers Grimm.

Jones: *On Little Red Riding Hood* She's got the food and sex together, you know, not a bad combination.

[GI_Admiral 2]

Jones is one crazy lady O_O

and how old/senile is Seiver :p

[Ana 15]

Lol Jones is a barrel o'laughs.

And Seiver's not that old, his kids are like 27. He's just reeeeeeeeeeeally absent minded.

[GI_Admiral 2]

lol riiiiight

I wish I had afunny teacher :(

[Mara 29]

Awwwwwww.

My writing prof said "God dammed" in class yesterday.

[Bad furday 57]

But that's not funny...I'm not laughing my head off here at the computer....

I grade your prof. and 'F' for effort! :p

[Princess 35]

Awwwwwww.

My writing prof said "God dammed" in class yesterday.

Ooooooooh isn't that special

[Tsl 7]

My all time favorite teacher statement was from my 11th grade history teacher:

"When Martin Luther King Jr. died, he wasn't around anymore."

[Mara 29]

LMAO.

In a book I just read:

But then again, maybe it wasn't such a a terrible thing to be a dang fool sometimes. Maybe, he thought, it was just what you were supposed to be.

I dunno, it just caught my eye.

Ooops... Source:

Lizzie Bright and the Buckminster Boy - Gary Schmidt

Edited October 7, 2005 by Mara: Forever

[Ender 8]

"We wouldn't be as successful as we are in America if we weren't a cartoon band. You can't be white and from London and produce hip hop - it's illegal actually, in America."

~Damon Albarn on the Gorillaz

[Chickenman 9]

Without a doubt the best quote in Fever Pitch:

Ben: I'm like a big, big Red Sox fan.

Lindsey: I know. I mean, I've been to your apartment. And seen the Red Sox dish towels, and glasses and the Yankee toilet paper...

[Mara 29]

You watched a chick flick?

[Andy 60]

I thought it was a ripoff of a britcom :p

[Chickenman 9]

It wasn't a chick flick. It was a chick flick OR a Red Sox fan flick.

And it was by the Farrelly Brothers, so I thought it was going to be funny.

And beeurd,

Baseball > Soccer