Radioactive Isotope 29 Posted June 14, 2004 hey! you're blockin my sun! how am i supposed to tan if you're blocking the sun!? :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ender 8 Posted June 14, 2004 Heheh, those are pretty good... the St. Anthony dude forgot to apologize for saying 'oot' 'aboot' and 'eh' all the time. I'm offended. ;) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Drake 53 Posted June 14, 2004 (edited) I would also like to apologize for our lack of understanding of American English. We've been following the British version for so long and have caused some moments of confusion and, perhaps, anger between our two countries. For that I am truely sorry. In the future, when thinking about the way Canadians speak, try to remember to leave out those provinces who don't fully have a grasp on the language. Those being Newfoundland and Quebec. In the future, when thinking about your noble language, I will try to remember to leave out those few states which aren't completely literate in the English language. Yes, I will remember to leave out Texas, California, Arkansas, Alabama, Nebraska, New Jersey, New York, Georgia, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, Indiana, Iowa, Louisiana, Tennesse, Mississippi, Kentucky, and Nevada. If I have missed anyone, I am sorry. :p Edited June 14, 2004 by Drake Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CorSec 5 Posted June 14, 2004 ahahaha...good one Drake. Rick Mercer = coolest Canadian humoUrist. I'd like to see plans for Talking to Americans...again. :D Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Roethlisberger 0 Posted June 15, 2004 Mo Rocca: I was busy waiting all night for the Columbus Day Bunny to come down my chimney and light fireworks in my pumpkin. Jon Stewart: ...There's so much wrong with that. Mo Rocca: Oh, I'm sorry, i forgot you were Jewish. Jon Stewart: France, c'mon girl, don't be an invader hater. Harrison Ford: I don't really do action movies. Jon Stewart: You were Indiana Jones. Harrison Ford: Yeah, but... Jon Stewart: And Han Solo Harrison Ford: Yeah... Jon Stewart: And Jack Ryan. Harrison Ford: I always saw Indiana Jones as a comedy. Jon Stewart: Well, I can assure you it's not. Harrison Ford: I'll have to let Spielberg know that. "Steve- not funny." Jon Stewart: You know Spielberg? [Jon Stewart asks correspondent Stephen Colbert' date=' ostensibly reporting live from the U.S. victory in Baghdad, Iraq, about the rebuilding process'] Steven Colbert: We won. Rebuilding is for losers. Time to party. And then it's off to Syria for the next invasion. Jon Stewart: Are we invading Syria? Steven Colbert: Am I still bound by the military's restrictions on embedded reporters? Jon Stewart: Yes. Steven Colbert: Then no. Jon Stewart: It's as though there's only two positions you can have - you're either for the war or against the troops. [on U.S. involvement in Iraq] Jon Stewart: [on the 2002 elections] Before we bring democracy to Iraq or even Afghanistan, it might be prudent to bring it to Florida. We don't have to bring regime change to the whole state. We can start in Pensacola and work our way down. [On the military's asking Geraldo Rivera to leave Iraq] Jon Stewart: It should be mentioned that the only other people the US has asked to leave Iraq are Saddam and his two sons. Ed Helms: "Bastille". It's French for "Why are you stabbing me? I just released you from prison." Jon Stewart: Earlier in the show I intimated that Julia Roberts was a speed junkie. That's not true. In real life, and don't hold this against her, she's a cannibal. Jon Stewart: Today is the 100th anniversary of the Wright Brothers' flight at Kitty Hawk. Today, they tried to do a re-creation of that historic flight... and it didn't work. That's like doing a Civil War reenactment and having the South win. In case you haven't noticed, the Daily Show is basically the American version of This Hour Has 22 Minutes, but The Daily Show came first. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Drake 53 Posted June 15, 2004 And you're wrong once again! The Daily Show started in '96 while 22 Minutes started in '93. :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bad furday 57 Posted June 15, 2004 The only cure for stupidity is death! - Faye Valentine, Cowboy Bebop, The Movie Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CorSec 5 Posted June 15, 2004 Futurama fun: (all grabbed from the same episode) If you've never seen it (blasphemous), think of Zapp as Kirk, with more ego and less intelligence. Zapp: Kif, I'm feeling the captain's itch. Kif: I'll get the powder sir. Zapp: No. The itch for adventure! Prepare to change course. Kif: Sir this is a leisure cruise. Our path was set by the travel agency. [He presses a button and reveals a map. From one planet to another.] Zapp: That's for schoolgirls! Now here's a route with some chest hair. [He squiggles a new course onto the map.] Kif: But sir, that course leads directly through a swarm of comets! Zapp: Yes, comets! The icebergs of the sky. By jackknifing from one to the next at breakneck speed, we might just get some sort of gravity boost...or something. [Kif sighs.] It's time to shove a jalape?o up this ship's tailpipe! [He grabs the wheel.] Divert power from the shields, full speed ahead! --------- Kif: Captain, may I have a word with you? Zapp: No. Kif: It's an emergency sir. Zapp: Come back when it's a catasrophe! [There is a crash and the ship shakes. Zapp reluctantly stands up.] Oh very well. --------- [scene: Titanic Wheel Room. Comets are zooming around all over the place outside the ship.] Kif: Sir, remember your course correction? Zapp: No. Kif: Well it's proving somewhat more suicidal than we'd initially hoped. Zapp: Kif old friend I don't know which disgusts me more. Your cowardice or your stupidity! We'll simply set a new course for that empty region over there. Near that black-ish hole-ish thing. [He points at the black-ish hole-ish thing and grins. Kif is gobsmacked.] --------- Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Roethlisberger 0 Posted June 16, 2004 (edited) And you're wrong once again! The Daily Show started in '96 while 22 Minutes started in '93. 22 Minutes started in '94. :p Edited June 16, 2004 by Fett Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Drake 53 Posted June 16, 2004 Nope. Started October 1993. I'd stop now if I were you...you're just never right. :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy 60 Posted June 16, 2004 I've never heard of either show, so I don't care :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Drake 53 Posted June 16, 2004 Well, no one cares about you so it all works out. :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Roethlisberger 0 Posted June 17, 2004 No Drake, you're wrong. Go here: The IMDb entry for "This Hour Has 22 Minutes Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Drake 53 Posted June 17, 2004 Oh well. My point is still proven that it came before The Daily Show...so there. :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CorSec 5 Posted June 17, 2004 "User Comments: Boring, tedious...great example of bad Canadian programming" That site is obviously un-trustworthy. With such a member base as that, how can we possibly accept that date? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Roethlisberger 0 Posted June 18, 2004 First: Check the other comments. Second, try to read that one. I'm Ozzy Osbourne! It could be worse. I could be Sting. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CorSec 5 Posted June 18, 2004 Quiet...I've had enough of your logic and correctness. :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Roethlisberger 0 Posted June 21, 2004 Michael: So this is the Aztec Tomb trick. Gob: Illusion, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money... [sees children watching his magic] Gob: ... or candy! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- George Sr.: [explaining why he left the company to Lucille] They cannot charge a husband and wife for the same crime! Michael: That's not true. George Sr.: Really? Michael: Yep. George Sr.: [whispering] I got the worst ewoking attorneys. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Michael Bluth: Do you know what they do to people who commit treason? George Sr.: First time! Michael Bluth: Second! George Sr.: I got the worst ewoking attorneys. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Maggie Lizer: I'm blind! Michael: I'm wasted! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Narrator: Tobias was a never nude, which is exactly what it sounds like. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [a replica of the Ten Commandments has crashed on Barry's car] Barry Zuckerkorn: Oh God, I am so sorry! I'll never make another mistake as long as I live! [he notices the parking ticket on his car] Barry Zuckerkorn: Well, the hell with that! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Michael: There's been nothing but lies in this family. Lucille: And love. Michael: More lies. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Princess 35 Posted June 22, 2004 1. The Glitter Glue is crunchy 2. Are you saying that the Virgin Mary has a penis? 3. It's a baby Jesus 4. A bandaid just fell out of this phamplet 5. Eww my gum just fell out of my mouth 6. Bomb's away 7. I'm sorry I left my whore boot box at home 8. It's a 69 9. It's growing stuff 10. The tape has salsa on it 11. I got one of these stuck in my ear once 12. Amanda, you've got a pin in your ass 13. I'll put your hand there to get it 14. Big gap where there shouldn't be. 15. Don't touch the coffee 16. ...It's stolen from a hotel 17. She's got the leaning tower of cups going on over there Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pandora 77 Posted June 22, 2004 hehehehehehe I've had days like that with my friends. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Drake 53 Posted June 22, 2004 My friends and I have said crazier things. If I remember any of them, I'll post them. :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy 60 Posted June 24, 2004 From the Mail on Sunday: "Wreck it - expose it for the waste, the corruption and the way it's eroding our independance and our sovereignty." - UK Independance Party representative Robert Kilroy-Silk, when asked what he will do when he joins the European Parliament. "Serious bidders only please, and no stalkers or murderers." - Part of an internet advertisment from a 19-year-old who was auctioning his virginity for ?6,000. "Oh, if I'd known you were coming I'd have given you a box." - Derren Brown ad-libs onstage when he spots his rival, David Blaine. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chickenman 9 Posted June 24, 2004 From Top Secret: German General: Let us hope, for your sake, Mr. Rivers, that the officer survives. *Phone rings. General picks it up* Yes? I see. Well let me know if his condition changes. *Hangs up* He's dead! ************************** Nick Rivers: I'm sorry, I don't know any German. Hilary Flammond: Oh, that's allright, I know a little German. He's sitting over there. *Midget stands up and waves* *************************** Nick: So what's your name? Hilary: Hilary. It's German for "she who's bosums defy gravity" Nick: ... Hilary: What's your name? Nick: Nick. Hilary: Nick. What does that mean? Nick: Nothing. My dad thought of it while he was shaving. **************************** Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chickenman 9 Posted June 29, 2004 From one of the greatest movies of all time: "They won't catch us. We're on a mission from God." "500 miles to go, full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark out, and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
