Random Rant and venting thread for general or specific rage

[Uncle Du 22]

:D

[Andy 60]

Do you two ever stop flirting? lol :p

[Ana 15]

Of course not. It'd be so boring if they did. :p

[Uncle Du 22]

Yea, we gotta keep the excitement around here going somehow. ;)

[Princess 35]

For sure

[TheUnknown 39]

ewoking insurance! I drive thirty minutes through heavy traffic to the doctors office to hopefully get some medication to deal with my ADD (and thus giving me hopefully the ability to deal with the depression and anxiety through non-medication). I get there and find out my insurance company is saying I'm not covered. So, now I'm hoping it's just an issue of getting an enrollment verification.

[Tsl 7]

Have you tried St. John's Wort? <-- herbal remedy thingy used for depression. I know some folks who take this and say it really helps with depression and anxiety. It's essentially God's version of a serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor.

[TheUnknown 39]

I might have to try it. Like I said, I'm hoping to be able to deal with the ADD through medication, which would then allow me to at least try to deal with the anxiety and depression through non-medicative means. Take the ADD out of the picture, I would hopefully be better able to focus better on treatment and have more motivation.

[Brumak 2]

Well, this isn't a rant for rage...but a rant all the same.

I suppose I could start off by stating that I have finally hit the stage of doubt. Am I ready for what lies ahead of me? Can I handle the path that is laid at my feet without buckling under the pressure? Will I fail my son, and in so, my life's goal? The pressure has finally truly set in and now I'm buried under a mountain of guilt, regret, and responsibility.

I loathe the social structure in which I reside and in so am extremely reluctant to join the workforce despite the predicament I'm in. I understand I need to find something to support my upcoming family, yet I despise the fact I need to settle into some stupid ass job to get money to support said family. This monetary system disgusts me to no end, yet that's all there is to truly get by in today's standards. I would love nothing more than to just walk off and find a patch of land to build my new life and family on...but without the foundation of an education and a career, I find myself hopelessly lost.

Despite my own prayers and confidence...I still feel as if I am failing. I believe I will be a good father to Adrian...but I don't know if I can support him in societies standards. And that's what irks me I suppose...the fact that we have to rely on a system that promotes materialism and monetary value. I don't know what to do besides pray...and even that...I question.

And what of Adrian? (by the way, for all of you to know, the full name will be Adrian Drake Hass) Will I be able to help this new life...or will I hinder it, at my age? Am I too young to teach this unborn child? I fear that with all my doubts and insecurities, he will inherit those properties...I pray I'm overreacting but all the same it's a fear that haunts my sleep.

All in all...I believe I will be a good father...but that does not ebb my fears. My anarchistic nature shines through me no matter what I wish...and I am purely frightened by the consequences that could potentially arise.

[TheUnknown 39]

I feel your pain, man. Seeing my friends and other people I've known since high school, middle school, hell, even elementary school graduating from college, getting real jobs, getting married, having kids, and generally just having their lives has made me realize that the nebulous, distant future I always knew was coming but always seemed so distant is very close. On the one hand, having my own life sounds exciting and liberating. On the other, I lament having wasted so much of my life and don't want this part to end, maybe because I want there to be something there I can look back on fondly.

There's a big part of me that feels like I'm being pushed off a waterfall, and I have no idea what to do. I had never really given a whole lot of thought to family and relationships, but seeing the pictures from my best friend's engagement made me realize that I don't want to be alone. Yet I feel I don't have the personality to nuture a relationship or even start one, not now.

That's basically the large part of why I started seeing a psychologist. I just don't know what to do.

[Brumak 2]

I lament having wasted so much of my life and don't want this part to end, maybe because I want there to be something there I can look back on fondly.

I read that and it hit home...I fear that I will never again be able to feel the way I did as a younger me, the bliss of no cares, no worries, no responsibilities...I view myself as still a kid despite the fact I'm extremely close to a quarter of a century old. I don't want to grow up, I miss the days of carefree nothingness...every day was a new day to make a new machine out of Legos, or beat the boss of the latest Final Fantasy...now I'm looking at it through the perception of the older generation. I still want the experiences of youth...yet I let that slip by as I was wasting so much...doing nothing it seems.

[Drake 53]

I hear that.

[Bad furday 57]

I secondly hear that! :(

[Andy 60]

i'ms tilll in dinial about growing up. still dunno what im doing with my life... yay go me

[Princess 35]

B, have you been drinking?

[Drake 53]

Ya think? :p

[Uncle Du 22]

Well, this isn't a rant for rage...but a rant all the same.

I suppose I could start off by stating that I have finally hit the stage of doubt. Am I ready for what lies ahead of me? Can I handle the path that is laid at my feet without buckling under the pressure? Will I fail my son, and in so, my life's goal? The pressure has finally truly set in and now I'm buried under a mountain of guilt, regret, and responsibility.

I loathe the social structure in which I reside and in so am extremely reluctant to join the workforce despite the predicament I'm in. I understand I need to find something to support my upcoming family, yet I despise the fact I need to settle into some stupid ass job to get money to support said family. This monetary system disgusts me to no end, yet that's all there is to truly get by in today's standards. I would love nothing more than to just walk off and find a patch of land to build my new life and family on...but without the foundation of an education and a career, I find myself hopelessly lost.

Despite my own prayers and confidence...I still feel as if I am failing. I believe I will be a good father to Adrian...but I don't know if I can support him in societies standards. And that's what irks me I suppose...the fact that we have to rely on a system that promotes materialism and monetary value. I don't know what to do besides pray...and even that...I question.

And what of Adrian? (by the way, for all of you to know, the full name will be Adrian Drake Hass) Will I be able to help this new life...or will I hinder it, at my age? Am I too young to teach this unborn child? I fear that with all my doubts and insecurities, he will inherit those properties...I pray I'm overreacting but all the same it's a fear that haunts my sleep.

All in all...I believe I will be a good father...but that does not ebb my fears. My anarchistic nature shines through me no matter what I wish...and I am purely frightened by the consequences that could potentially arise.

I have found that one of the most difficult things to do in life is to not dwell on the past. Always remember it, learn from it, keep those good memories close for when you need them. I have found, and this is just me, that you have to try and live your life with no regrets. I have made many mistakes in my life, and from each one, I have learned a valuable lesson.

There is nothing more important than being able to find time to be that kid again, and do things that you enjoy. The thing is, that there is a lot of satisfaction to be taken from supporting your family, and doing the things that you have to do. Believe me when I say, I know how scary it is to not know how you're going to support a family.

While I may question my decision to leave active duty, I don't regret it. I can't. It would just drag me down. And the thing is, there is always something you can do to move ahead. Sometimes the solution is not easy to see, and sometimes it requires sacrifice. I question my decision to move away from Kian everyday, and I can only hope that in the end, it was the right thing to do. Only time will tell.

And when it comes to being a good Dad, I know you will be Al. You're a Hass. You'll just know what to do. :)

Edited May 18, 2009 by Du

[Andy 60]

B, have you been drinking?

No, why would I do such a thing? :shifty:

[Uncle Du 22]

Um, because it's fun? :p

[James the Defender 7]

Well, here I post another rant...

I thought I was going to be able to get health insurance coverage by the end of June...I found out that is not the case... I called HR today and they said that I have to avg. 34.5 hours/week for a rolling period of 52 weeks. As of now I have 27...I just picked up to 40 hours/week. So the extra 5.5 hours are going to be added to the previous weeks to make up that avg...even with that I'll still be waiting "some time" as the analyst put it to get coverage... Here's the main problem, my soon to be wife is on hefty prescriptions. They would cost over $1,000 per 90 day prescription and now I have no clue what to do... It was like someone punched me in the gut when that rep said "some time." I'm so sad now...We may not even be able to go on our honeymoon... :(

Edited May 18, 2009 by James the Defender

[Uncle Du 22]

Oh my God dude, that blows!!!

So the company that you work for won't offer you ANYTHING in the way of health insurance?!

[Princess 35]

This is why I hate the American health care system. I presume you make too much to qualify for medicaid?

[James the Defender 7]

Oh my God dude, that blows!!!

So the company that you work for won't offer you ANYTHING in the way of health insurance?!

No, no, no, I just don't qualify for the insurance yet. I'll be able to get it but it won't be until later on this year, after I've been married for a few months. Until then, we have to find other means to pay for her meds. I apologize if I was unclear before. I was kinda sad and angry. I feel better now. No matter what we love each other, and though one cannot live on love and money is necessary, love helps with the mental burden of it all.

This is why I hate the American health care system. I presume you make too much to qualify for medicaid?

We haven't checked. I'm not sure. I really don't make all that much and we'll be living with my folks. I don't know how many would know the company for which I work. Du may, and so may Rogue. I work for Wawa. It's a convenience store chain. Despite that, the company is really good to its employees. I would get the same health benefits as upper management. These benefits are cross-company. The whole company falls under this benefits umbrella.

[Uncle Du 22]

Dude, I love Wawa!!

I hope everything works out good dude. After I got out of the Navy, I got to learn real quick about how jacked up health care and insurance and all that crap is.

[Bad furday 57]

Fox cancels Terminator but renews Dollhouse?! Ewok!

*rummages around in his basement* I know I put a T-600 down here somewhere. I have a job for it! :evil: