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Pandora

Ongoing Comedy: Real Jedi Punks - the final chapter

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Pandora

I'm going to move the last page from SWmb here so we can post and I can finish it later. I'll indicate the poster with their name in bold.

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Pandora

Rogue:

A look of terror struck Rogue's face as she looked through her macrobinoculars. Tahiriveila felt her shock through the force, and turned to look at her. "what is it?"

Rogue took in a breath. "I'll tell you when we get back to the main group...our scouting mission is done. let's head back." Tahiriveila shrugged, and they headed back towards the main group, once there, they reported to the Commander.

"how was the scouting run, Rogue?" he asked his still pale faced XO.

"Um, well it went pretty well...the enemy formation looks strong---" Tahiriveila answered for her.

"Furday, can I talk to you...in private?"

"Um...sure..." He said, half confused, and had Tahiriveila go back to the main group.

"I know who the Trekkie Commander is."

TBC

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Pandora

Rogue:

Furday's eyes widened. "you do?"

Rogue sighed, and pulled out a holoprojector, and turned it on. A small holo of a dorky looking adult male, with large glasses appeared. He was rather lanky, and hunched over in a rather lazy way. one word could describe him: Nerd. "His name is Ted....he's my mother's boss."

Furday looked utterly shocked. "He's at an advantage, commander. He's half Star Wars fan, so he knows our technology. That other half....such a waste of potential. He's--he's actually a nice guy though."

"Do you think we could get him to side with us?" Furday asked hopefully. "There's going to be enough blood shed already."

"Doubtful, but I could try."

TBC

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Pandora

Rogue:

Rogue pulled out a commlink, as everyone gathered around. the conversation was lengthy, and getting nowhere. "Don't do this Ted...come, join us...."

"why should I?" he asked in his rather gay sounding voice.

"because ....they're all going to laugh at you." and then they did.

*~* Executive Officer *~*

<sorry JainaSticks....you need a rank to post, and your post doesn't fit, it'll have to be ignored.>

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Pandora

Princessjedi75

"Jag," princesjedi said.

"Yeah," Jag reiplied.

"Do not move an inch," Princessjedi said.

"Why?" "Callista is right behind you." "What!?" "That's right," Callista said.

A voice came to princessjedi and Jag's mind. "The things Pod gave you!" it cried. "BOB!" they both cried. "I think!"

They touched the numbers that were their Punk codes. Then they were in jumpsuits that said "Pschopathic Jedi Punks?"

Also a really weird cap.

"Now my dear," Callista said to Jag. "Where is Luke and Mara Jade Skywalker?"

"I'll never tell you!" Jag cried. "Join me with the Trekkies. The Skywalkers are, or I kill her and the others." Callista poineted at princessjedi.

"THEY ARE ON HOTH!" Jag cried. "Thank you," Callista said. "Now kill the girl," "What!" Jag and princessjedi said. <hold on a minute limit prop>

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Pandora

Princessjedi75:

>back<

"I never keep my promises." and she shrugged. "Move the others, this death for the girl will be horrible." With that she got her lightsaber. "Hold on one minute!" someone screamed. Princessjedi closed her eyes.This did not look good, she thought.

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Pandora

Furday:

Furday took the comlink from Rogue.

"Ted, this is Commander furday," he said, ignoring the snickering that had begun after he had spoken.

"We're sorry we all laughed at you, but maybe if you took out your pocket protector that says, ' My pens are mightier than any sword!' it would help matters!"

The rest of the Psychos retreated further from the comlink, to hide the sounds of their laughter.

Between laughs, Rogue gave him a look that said, 'Somehow I don't think it helped much!'

Snickering, furday shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, it's true !" he said.

Sighing, Rogue took the comlink back from furday.

"Ted?' she said.

The only noise was the sound of some intense lip-smacking. Curious, the group crept closer for a better look.

There sat Ted, devouring a glazed doughnut. From their vantage point in the bushes, it was all the others could do not to laugh.

<Short I know, but Done!>

0))) Commander (((0

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Pandora

Rogue:

This is certainly a hint as to who will win the war... Rogue thought. It's practically been gift wrapped... She turned off the Comm.

"Well, that was perfectly useless." Rogue said. Furday snickered.

"That was interestingly funny! So, what's next on the agenda?" he asked.

Rogue thought for a minute. "Well, we need to get reports from scouting teams "P", "U", "N", and "S"."

"right! and then we...?"

"And then we figure out if anybody can rembember and understand Pod's plan." she said.

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Pandora

Rogue:

"I remember Pod's plan!" he changed the holo's image to that of a map of the battlefield. the display showed various arrows, in vartious colors, representing the different groups.

"She'll bring her group over there...., and we will go over there, and Anakin, Jaina, Jacen, Lowie, Tenel and Zekk will split up and go over here, and then I'll bring the Us and Ks around in a half circle to surround them, and then the Ps and Ns tie them up and drag them to...um...oh yeah! there...and from there, we take them to the house of pain!"

"Oh, I get it now!"

*~* XO *~*

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Pandora

Rogue:

<Okay, well I have the information, here are the established groups...if you were forgotten, just PM, or Email me, and I'll fix the list. I'm also adding the forgotten charactors, and Psychos to the list....I'll keep the teams as even as possible.

Ps

Podracer

Princess

Jagged Fel

Tenel Ka

Ana

Us

Jaina

Jacen

Zekk

Haladar

MsSolo

Ns

Lowie

Alternate Lowie

Tahiri

Mjade

Unknown

Ks

Furday

Rogue

Tahiriveila

Link

Ewing

Ss

beeurd

JainaSolo

Anakin

TahiriSolo

Princess

Please post everyone, the story ends on tuesday, I want it to jump ten pages by then. (That is an order!)

*~* Executive Officer *~*

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Rogue

okay people! I want to see posting! we need to end this with a bang, and we have 24 hours!

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Princess

>Me Post<

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Princess

Back with Pod's group...

*Crack* The P group all jumped when they heard a stick break behind them. They turned to see Mara carrying Ben and heading towards them.

"I have an idea on eliminate Ted," Tenel Ka stated. "Bennie Wennie, whosy woosy is thatty whatty over there?"

Ben looked over to Ted and a gleeful look crossed over his face. He looked around for a moment for something heavy and metal, which he lifted easily in the force. "Not the Mama!" He cried gleefully as he knocked Ted unconscious with a battle droid.

A cheer erupted from the Punks and the Psychopathic Jedi. "Alright teams, move in and secure the target, he has been rendered unconscious. Let's get him back to Skywalker Palace." Pod told the teams.

The groups quickly moved in and had Ted immobilized in Duct Tape right away. As they worked their way to the landing pad they saw the Chief of State's ship landing. Padme Amidala, Wes, and Yoda all ran towards Mara and Ben.

"Possesed the child is. Give him up you must, Cure him we can." Yoda told Mara.

"Never, I won't give up my child without a fight," she screamed as she ran into the woods.

>Done<

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Andy

>Argh! Tries desperatly to thing of something<

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Admiral Daala

Just after that person called "Wait a minute" Callista's comlick rang. "Hello Callista here,"Callista said.

"What did you say Ted. I am still married to you I hope you know." Jag and Princessjedi looked at each other.

"Well stall them! Don't let those Pyscho and Punks near here." Callista said. "Ok Goodbye."

"Now Princessjedi where were we?" "Well uhh um some person just called out "Hold on," Princessjedi said.

"Yes he did," a new person said. It was Obi-Wan Kenobi and Firefighter239!

"Hey," Princessjedi said to Firefighter239. "I thought you were a Trekkie." "Nah I decided to open up a whole new me," Firefighter239 said.

"Thats just sad," Jag said. Princessjedi sighed.

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Pandora

>This is it. This is the end y'all. I'm going to lock this thread until I've posted the end, and then it will be unlocked again.

>*sighs* "It's the end of the Punks, as we know it..."<

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Pandora

The Ps watched Yoda chase Mara through the woods. They turned their attentions back to the Trekkies when they heard a rather nasally, and down-right nerdy battle cry come from the group.

The Punks looked worried, and the Psychopathic Jedi exchanged glances, most muttering something about "Stupid, moronic idiots."

"Um, that's a bit redundant, don't you think?" Anakin asked. He shrank back and cowered as the Psychos shot him glares, many containing daggars. Poor Ani covered his head and ducked the projectiles. "Hey! Stop it!" He hid behind Jacen, wimpering like a child. "Jace, save me!"

Everyone turned to look at Beeurd who was laughing evilly and typing away on a datapad.

"I'm confused!" Ani cried, still tormented.

The Trekkies charged the group. The Punks drew their lightsabers, but as soon as a Trekkie neared them, they were paralyzed by the unbearable geekiness and collapsed.

"Commander!" Rogue shouted over the commotion. "The Punks are out! We have to move them to safety!"

Furday gave the order and the Psychos levitated the fallen Punks away from the battle, and countered the Trekkies.

"There's too many of them!" Unknown cried.

JainaSolo;)* snapped at him. "Then stop quoting the movies and do something about it!"

Pod was holding off twelve Trekkies alone, and suddenly got an idea. *she lowered her lightsaber, brought her fingers to her mouth and whistled loudly. The Trekkies looked at her strangely, as she smiled smugly at them. Bounding from the distance came all six of Pod's pets. She laguhed at the weirdos running form her cute and cuddly widdle aminals. "Good boys!"

Pod ran to help Ana, who was holding off a group of Trekkies of her own by throwing flaming food at them.

Link kicked the unconscious form of a Trekkie she'd beaten to a relative pulp and looked around. "Hey, anyone seen Furday?" she asked, and accidentally took out Mjade, who was disguised as a Trekkie and was attempting to destroy the enemy from the inside.

Furday slunk from tree to tree, lurking stealthily. When a trekkie got too close to his hiding place, he lept out from the bushes and scared him to death. Literally. "Shush, Link!" he yelled after taking out a Trekkie. "You'll blow my cover." Without waiting for a response, he slipped back into the undergrowth, and moved to a different spot behind the frontline.

By now it was clear the Psychos were winning, but the Trekkies, being the dummies they are, just wouldn't quit

"You'll never defeat us!" One cried at Hal. "Don't you know nothin'?!"

Hal waved a finger in front of the Trekkie. "That's 'Do you know nothing,' or 'Don't you know ANYthing.' Honestly, if you're going to try to intimidate us, at least use proper grammer..."

On the other side of the battlefield, Ewing was fighting alonside Rogue, who was serving drinks to the Trekkies: blue lomins, with a bit of a treat in them from Ewing... arsenic. Not only were their tongues turning blue, but with compliments to the bitter, almond-like flavor... right before their bodies hit the grass with a dull thud.

In yet another part of the field, MsSolo was having a bit of fun of her own. She popped up behind a Trekkie and started rambling. "So. This mushroom walks into a bar..." Before she got any further in the joke, the Trekkies heads would explode. MsSolo smiled. "Works every time."

Link caught a glipse of Princess and Pod dragging a bunch of bound Trekkies towards a building. "Where you are you two going?" she shouted to them.

"To the Temple of Lucasian!" Princess yelled triumphantly.

"Guys," she scolded. "C-U-L-T!"

"Is not!" Princess shot back, about to sacrifice the Trekkies.

As the sun was setting, the battle was over, and the Psychos had won. With the corpses of Trekkies strewn across the field, the Punks took up flamethrowers and disposed of the bodies... since they had nothing to do with the fight itself.

Anja approached the Psychopathic Jedi, who were huddled around a datapad. "Guys," she said. "Why is it that whatever you type on that thing happens to us?"

Pod shrugged. "As if we have a clue. I just picked it up one day and turned y'all into a Punk band." She stared off into space. "It's amazing what one can accomplish when one enjoys as much free time as I...." As if in a daze, she went to a tree, cut it down, and built a desk and chair out of it. She sat in the chair, took a deep breath, and smacked her head on the desk. She stood back up and walked to the group again. "Okay, I'm back now."

The Punks looked at her in absolute horror, while the Psychos rolled around on the ground in stitches. Suddenly Furday jumped up and screamed. "Ahh! No one here's completed medical school!"

Pod cracked up and stopped typing, looking around innocently.

"Hey, would that work for us?" Zekk asked.

"What what work?" Rogue looked at him quizzically.

"Writing our lives on the datapad."

Pod shrugged. "I suppose it could. Though we never actually wrote in that it could. As far as I know, you have to be from Earth for it to work." She looked around at the Psychos. "Well, SUPPOSEDLY from Earth..."

Jacen shrugged. "Well, it's worth a try, even just for fun. Go on, Zekk," he said, taking a few steps back. "Try it."

"Yeah we're right behind you, buddy," Tahiri said, also taking a step back.

Zekk sighed in defeat and clicked a button ont he datapad. A window popped up in the screen, and an error alarm went off. WARNING: [the window read] THE GALAXY IS NOW ONE BIG, HAPPY FAMILY.

Pod looked over his shoulder at the window. "Well, that can't be good."

Zeek looked over his shoulder at the Punks. "What's that mean?"

"Um..."

Link gasped. "You don't suppose we..."

Amongst the Psychos, TahiriVeila let out a scream and pointed at Zekk.

The other Psychos followed her gaze. Zekk seemed to be dematerializing slowly, as were the rest of the Punks.

Suddenly, the Psychospathic Jedi were sitting in a movie theatre, listening the the Star Wars credits music, and watching their own names go up the screen. Bob appeared over them, he too, dematerilaizing.

"You've completed the first part of your mission," he said fuzzily. "You've brought overwhelming chaos to the galaxy." His image flickered and came back, Bob looking as is if he were fighting the dematerialization process. "But now that the enitre galaxy belongs to the same family by blood or marriage, you've created a paradox of sorts. Now that you are going on to mutilate another part of this galaxy, remember this: it'll never be the same."

"Wait, where are you going?" Furday asked Bob.

Bob flickered again, and was in a lab coat, and suddenly bore a strange resemblence to Christopher Lloyd. "Back to the future, of course!"

The Psycho exchanged confused looks.

Bob cracked up and returned to his original form. "No, I'm just kidding. I've been the dang Answer man throughout this entire parody. I think I need to crack a joke or two of my own, okay?"

Pod quietly and discreetly slid the datapad under her chair.

"Seriously," Bob continued. "I'm going back to where I came from..."

The Psychos gasped and covered their ears, for fear of Bob's molecules dispersing and going back into their brains.

Bob let out a laugh. "No," he said. "Oblivion." With that, he dematerialized completely and *POOF* he was gone.

The theatre lights came on, and the Psychos, turned around, startled to look at who had just come through the doors.

"Hey, how'd you kids get in here?" The silhouette said.

The Psychos looked at eacher in amazement. That voice sounded strangely familiar.

The door closed again, and the film that was on the reel was being rewound. When the lights went down again, the figure sat down next to them and watched the film on the screen. "Now where'd this come from?"

None of the Psychos could speak. When the movie ended and the lights came back on, the figure pointed at the Psychos, as if realization suddenly hit him. "Did you guys do this?"

Still shocked silent, the Pschos nodded.

"Wow, this is really good. Who are you guys, anyway?" he asked

Finally, Furday spoke. "We're the Psychopathic Jedi, Mr. Lucas."

George Lucas stood up and started walking out of the room, beckoning them to follow. "Let's go to my office, Psychos, and talk some business..."

The Psychos tripped over themselves to follow him.

>That's it y'all. Great round guys!<

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Admiral Daala

<you mean we finished the story>

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Ana

<That's right... Jedi Punks is over.>

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Princess

The End.

Great ending Pod!

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Andy

It's not the end...

...it's just the end of the beginning!

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Bad furday

Well said Beeurd!

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Andy

No problem, Commander!

(Is it just me, or is the font size geting larger ;)

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