Bad furday 57 Posted January 7, 2004 "Then came Jerez. Formula 1 had not seen any life-threatening accidents for some time now and was living in a cocoon of self-believed safety. That is, until Martin Donnelly's Lotus violently hit the Armco at the ultra-fast right-hander before the hairpin leading onto the pit straight. Our man Felix Muelas was present on the spot and the aftermath of the accident was enough to make him rethink his marshalling career. He quit right on the spot. "28th September 1990. The day I became sick at heart and the day that I decided to quit my marshalling activities. For good. Forever. Long gone were the days at Jarama, where we would traditionally spend Wednesday to Sunday on the track, first within the flags team, that would traditionally involve cleaning the track, jumping to help drivers, extinguishers ready, cooking ourselves under the sun and basically being part of the races at all levels. Then came the days were some of us would be taught the basics of the technical marshalling, being subject of examinations to get us prepared - it was tough in my case, not naturally gifted to the obvious rules of physics and measurements - and many more years and races after, finally a member of the "Tecs". That "upgrade" meant that many things would remain the same (it was an unpaid job, of course) whilst other things would involve a very serious degree of responsibility on our shoulders. And, of course, there were politics... but that was not a big surprise, really. We had almost "lived" politics since we were kids, and I'm talking about the infamous Jarama scandals here... The early eighties meant that our weekends were basically spent on rallies, and I have to say I hated the job at the time. So we thought it might look like a good idea to try and take over control at the Federaci?n, and we went to the elections to see if we could modify a couple of things from the inside. We were beaten fair and square. End of politics, period. The opening of Jerez meant, amongst other things, that we were suddenly needed again. All the Jarama-based marshals... Big celebrations, back to school, back to long hours of learning and discussing the FIA Yellow Book... and back to the track. The Jerez years were extraordinary, we were older and maybe wiser, and the weekends when international races were held were few... almost a luxury. Not that we would not attend any national races but after all those years the real challenge was to do a decent and not quite so polemic job once or twice a year. In the meantime, the drivers had suffered from a metamorphosis. Suddenly they were less easy with us, they would complain or simply ignore our queries to inspect their helmets or their fireproof overalls. What had happened to our heroes? I remember having those thoughts at the end of the eighties. On Sundays after the races, when we had to take care of the "parc ferm?" being exactly that in order to make our scrutineering right, we had the sensation that times were running faster than us... And then came that 28th September. If you remember the Jerez track, the entry to the pitlane was made so that the final corner before the main straight was cut short, and drivers had to pass - or stop - by us. We had the place located just at the entry so that we could see cars coming and then, when stopped, help the mechanics push them back to the pitlane. The first abnormal thing that left us speechless was the noise. A horrendous bang so close that instants after that it seemed like all the noise surrounding us had stopped. We looked at each other (I cannot remember whether we were working on a car at the moment) and started running. It was obvious that an accident had happened, and it had happened quite near to us. We saw the track marshals running too (they were wearing their bright green overalls) on the exterior of the track - we were on the inside, running on the grass and on the track itself. There was a cloud of smoke up there, at the exit of the Enzo Ferrari corner, a flat-in-sixth 160mph leading onto the small straight downhill where we were. We got there in something like a minute, and the sight was appalling. Carlos was shouting "Don't touch him!" - as he knew the ambulance would be arriving any moment - and I was paralysed. A body was lying on the track, motionless - I was convinced he was dead - with the seatbelts attached to a piece of the car, the bulkhead, and he had one twisted leg protruding at an angle. Of the car, well, there were bits and pieces everywhere distracting us for a moment - one of our duties had been for years to reconstruct the accidents on the track - so I remember that this algorithm took over our minds for a couple of seconds. But as soon as the answer came out of the brain - "What the hell happened here?" - we were back to poor Martin Donnelly. I stood there watching whilst the body was being taken care of by the medical team, and later we heard with relief that, although very seriously injured, Donnelly was alive. But I had made a decision, and I have not regretted it since. It was time to quit. Not that I was not aware of the risks, I had been living with them for years, but up to that day it always seemed like if, come the moment, we could help. Not that day. I was so paralysed in front of what I was convinced was Donnelly's final moment in life and felt so stupid not being able to know what to do that I just concluded my time was over. For years after, in some of my nightmares, that Lotus disintegrates and Donnelly is left on the track, alone. I don't understand the accident, the sun disappears and it starts raining. And then, after a couple of seconds, he makes a weird movement with his leg to put it in place, stands up, starts walking over to me and says with an Irish accent, "Thanks, mate. I'll be walking to the pits myself, don't worry. I know the way." The good news is that Martin Donnelly survived, and that he is alive and well. I'm alive and well too, and although Donnelly never came to know about my nightmares - and probably wouldn't have cared much, I see his point - his accident sent me back to the library from where maybe, just maybe, I should never have left." Graphic...well...there are worse ones, but still graphic nonetheless image ahead! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eldar Galadhon 0 Posted January 7, 2004 All books are better than movies that are made from them. My favourite book being Jurassic Park, which is at least a million times better than the movie. And LotR is so far proving to be better than the movies too Amen! :nahnah: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Roethlisberger 0 Posted January 7, 2004 From Malcolm in the Middle Reese: Hey, Dad? I have a little situation that maybe you can help me out with. There's this girl who... Hal: I suggest that you leave her alone before she calls the police on you. Reese: Okay, thanks. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Radioactive Isotope 29 Posted January 7, 2004 From Finding Nemo (best kids' movie EVER! ) Dory talking about a jellyfish: i shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine, he shall be my Squishy. c'mere, Squishy, come here, Squishy *baby talk* *gets stung* ouch! bad Squishy! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Roethlisberger 0 Posted January 7, 2004 From Finding Nemo (best kids' movie EVER! ) I liked Shrek, Toy Story and ET (if you call it a kids movie) more. Best live action kids movie: Wizard of Oz From Shrek [shrek enters the tournament.] Lord Farquaad: What's that? It's hideous. Shrek: Well, that's not very nice. [looks at Donkey] Shrek: It's just a donkey. From ET ET: ET, phone home. From Toy Story Buzz: CAN! Woody: That wasn't flying; that was falling with style! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Roethlisberger 0 Posted January 7, 2004 (edited) This is a link to the script of one of my favorite Simpsons episodes: Simpson Safari Quotes from Arrested Development [Complaining about a gay boat protest upstaging her husband's retirement party.] Lucille: Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lindsay Funke: You know, we're not the only ones destroying trees. What about beavers? You call yourself an environmentalist, why don't you go club a few beavers? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [After Michael takes away a frozen Bluth banana from GOB] Lucille: How much could a banana cost? Ten dollars? Michael: You've never been to a supermarket, have you? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lucille: Everyone's laughing, and riding, and cornholing except Buster. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- George Sr.: Daddy horny, Michael. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Lucille is trying to convince Michael to take Buster off her hands] Michael Bluth: Okay, he can hang out, but he's going to work. This is not going to be a day at the beach. [The camera pans out to show that Buster's wearing beach clothes] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Michael: We can't let my mother see you until she gets in here. Wayne: Fine then, I shall hide behind the couch. Michael: What a professional. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [At the fair] Michael: We can't let dad see you here with him. Wayne: I shall hide behind that trashcan. Michael: What a professional. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Michael: Hey mom, there is a bowl of candy waiting in my office. [Lucille enters and while the door is closing] Wayne: I have a legal responsibility to tell you that there is NO candy in here. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Learning Michael burned down the Banana Stand] George: I had $250,000 lining the inside walls. Michael: Why didn't you tell me. George: What the hell did you think I meant when I said that "there is always money in the Banana Stand!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Michael is asked to take over the family business.] Michael: I'm moving to Phoenix. I got a job. [There is an awkward silence.] Michael: Something you apply for and they pay you to... Never mind, I don't want to ruin the surprise. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [After Maeby is given an elephant brooch from Lucille that Lindsay was supposed to recieve.] Lindsay Funke: That was supposed to be mine. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ After being declined entrance in to a high end restaurant] Lindsay Funke: Let's just go, I've suddenly lost my appetite. Lucille Bluth: That's hard to believe. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [After the publicist has just told the family that Michael is the most likeable member of the family] Publicist: There are very few intelligent, attractive and straight men in this town. Tobias Funke: Well, that leaves me out. [silence, everyone stares] Tobias Funke: She did say single, right? I-I-I thought she said single. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Maeby Funke: You and I are so different. It's like we're not even related. [she leaves] George Michael Bluth: That would be amazing. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Buster: We're excavating a pterodactyl. [plainly shows a human skull; Buster accidentally hits and breaks it with a hammer] Buster: That was 90% gravity. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lucille Bluth: Did that Mexican girlfriend of yours kick you out. Gob: No, she didn't, and plus she's not Mexican, she's Colombian or something. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Buster: No mother, I can blow myself. You've interfered for the last time. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lindsay: Michael, if this is a lecture on how we're all supposed to whatever and blah-blah-blah, well, you can save it, because we all know it by heart. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Gob is leaving his and Marta's house] Marta: Te Quiero. Gob: English, please. Marta: I love you. Gob: Great, now I'm late. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [repeated line] Gob: I've made a huge mistake. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Gob: My gut is telling me no... but my gut is also very hungry. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [as cops surround the docks and start shooting at drug dealers while fake stripper cops cower nearby] Drug Dealer: You set us up! Gob: No! These are the strippers! Look how hot they are! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Armless man: Oh my god! My arm! Michael: Oh my god, this guy's arm! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [George Michael and Maeby are searching through the Bluth company files illegally] George Michael: Fingerprints? You said they wouldn't be taking fingerprints! Maeby: No, I said don't wear your mittens. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [re:Carl Weathers] Lucille: Guess who's coming to dinner? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tobias: I want something that says..."Dad likes leather!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [giving a toast] Michael: To Buster and Lucille... Buster: Don't forget my girlfriend! Michael: That's who I meant. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lindsey: Nana's fine, she's been dead for six months. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [holding up a pair of cut-off jeans] Tobias: I don't do nudity! Why do you think I wear these? George Michael: I was never really clear on that. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- George Sr.: You should have seen the face he made when - well, he's my twin brother, I'll show you! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [on the phone] George Michael: Hello, Bluth Company. George Sr.: Talk me off, honey. Talk me off. George Michael: Talk you off what, PopPop? George Sr.: Oh, George Michael! I thought you were - when's that voice gonna drop? Put Kitty on the phone. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [answering the phone] George Michael: [very quickly] Bluth-Company-George-Michael-speaking-not-Kitty. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Annyong: Annyong. Edited April 6, 2004 by Fett the Escapist Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy 60 Posted January 24, 2004 After Kodak founder George Eastman's suicide in 1932, a note was found explaining his decision to end it all: "My work is done, Why wait?" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Roethlisberger 0 Posted January 24, 2004 Bill Gates: I use $100 bills to wipe my ass! From SNL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chozen 1 Posted January 24, 2004 I like spam. From the movie.. SPAM! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Roethlisberger 0 Posted January 24, 2004 Eh, shut up! It's been 17 days! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chozen 1 Posted January 24, 2004 And you have to quote films everyday??? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Roethlisberger 0 Posted January 24, 2004 No. Like I said: I haven't quoted anything for 17 days. :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chozen 1 Posted January 24, 2004 lol.. Can't you quote your friends and other people in here? Oh wait.. friends.. Never mind.. Continue. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chozen 1 Posted January 24, 2004 Go play with a banana Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy 60 Posted February 1, 2004 lol, this made me laugh... 'tis from the specs of Rebel Assault 2 on the LucasArts site... Sony Playstation Minimum Requirements 1. A Sony Playstation 2. A TV set, monitor, or really good Jedi intuition. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Radioactive Isotope 29 Posted February 1, 2004 :lol: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Roethlisberger 0 Posted February 2, 2004 The stuff here is way too inappropriate for any forum. Go here for some really hilarious quotes: Monty Python's Meaning of Life Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Roethlisberger 0 Posted February 2, 2004 In the spirit of Groundhog Day, here are some quotes from the film Groundhog Day, in which Bill Murray has to live the same day (Groundhog Day) over and over and over... -------------------------------------------------------------- Quotes from Groundhog Day Ned: Phil? Phil Connors? Phil Connors, I thought that was you. Now don't you tell me you don't remember me 'cause I sure as heckfire remember you. Phil: Not a chance. Ned: Ned.... Ryerson. "Needlenose Ned"? "Ned the Head"? C'mon, buddy. Case Western High. I did the whistling belly-button trick at the high school talent show? Bing. Ned Ryerson, got the shingles real bad senior year, almost didn't graduate? Bing, again. Ned Ryerson, I dated your sister Mary Pat a couple of times until you told me not to anymore? Well? Phil: Ned Ryerson? Ned: BING. Phil: Bing. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ned: Phil? Phil: Ned. [Punches Ned in the face] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: You wanna throw up here, or you wanna throw up in the car? Ralph: I think... both. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [To Rita about Phil.] Larry: Did he actually refer to himself as "the talent"? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: I'm a god. I'm not *the* God... I don't think. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Larry: People think that all cameramen do is point the camera at things, but it's a *heck* of a lot more complicated than that. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Man in Hallway: Think it'll be an early spring? Phil: Winter, slumbering in the open air, wears on its smiling face a dream... of spring. Ciao. Man in Hallway: Ciao. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: Where's everybody going? Piano Teacher: To Gobbler's Knob. It's Groundhog Day. Phil: It's still just once a year, isn't it? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Driving down the railroad tracks toward an approaching train.] Phil: I'm betting he's going to swerve first. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: I am asking you for help. Rita: Well, what do you want me to do? Phil: I don't know. You're a producer. Think of something. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: There is a major network interested in me. Larry: That would be the Home Shopping Network. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rita: Are you drunk or something? Phil: Drunk is more fun. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ned: Do you have life insurance, Phil? Because if you do, you could always use a little more, I mean, who couldn't? But let me tell something--I got's a feeling [whistles] Ned: you ain't got any. Am I right or am I right or am I right? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster and drank pina coladas. At sunset we made love like sea otters. *That* was a pretty good day. Why couldn't I get that day over and over and over... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ned: What are you doing later? Phil: Something else. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- First D.J.: Rise and shine, campers, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today. Second D.J.: It's cold out there every day. What is this, Miami Beach? First D.J.: Not hardly. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rita: I like to see a man of advancing years throwing caution to the wind. It's inspiring in a way. Phil: My years are not advancing as fast as you might think. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: You want a prediction about the weather, you're asking the wrong Phil. I'll give you a winter prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: Do you know what today is? Rita: No, what? Phil: Today is tomorrow. It happened. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rita: Would you like to come to dinner with Larry and me? Phil: No thank you. I've seen Larry eat. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mrs. Lancaster: Did you sleep well, Mr. Connors? Phil: I slept alone, Mrs. Lancaster. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: So, did you sleep OK without me? You tossed and turned, didn't you? Rita: You're incredible. Phil: Who told you? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: Do you ever have deja vu Mrs. Lancaster? Mrs. Lancaster: I don't think so, but I could check with the kitchen. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rita: Why would anybody want to steal a groundhog? Larry: I can think of a couple of reasons... the pervert. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: Can I have another one of these with some booze in it? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: Can I be serious with you with you for a minute? Rita: I don't know. Can you? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: Well, it's Groundhog Day... again... and that must mean we're up here at Gobbler's Knob waiting for the forecast from the world's most-famous groundhog weatherman, Punxsutawney Phil, who's just about to tell us how much more winter we can expect. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: Can I talk to you about a matter that is not work-related? Rita: You never talk about work. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered? Ralph: That about sums it up for me. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Phil Connors drives (because Ralph and Gus are drunk) right through a mailbox.] Gus: Hey Phil, if we wanted to hit mailboxes we could let Ralph drive. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: It's the same things your whole life. "Clean up your room.", "Stand up straight.", "Pick up your feet.", "Take it like a man.", "Be nice to your sister.", "Don't mix beer and wine, ever.". Oh yeah, "Don't drive on the railroad track." Gus: Eh, Phil. That's one I happen to agree with. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Phil Connors is stopped by the police after some crazy driving] Phil: Yeah, three cheeseburgers, two large fries, two chocolate shakes and a large coke. Ralph: [To Phil] And some flapjacks. Phil: [To Cop] Too early for flapjacks? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: There is no way this winter is *ever* going to end as long as that groundhog keeps seeing his shadow. I don't see any way out of it. He's got to be stopped. And I have to stop him. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Piano Teacher: Not bad... Mr. Connors, you say this is your first lesson? Phil: Yes, but my father was a piano *mover*, so... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rita: Have you ever had d?j?-vu? Phil: Didn't you just ask me that? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: I've been stabbed, shocked, poisoned, frozen, hung, electrocuted, and burned. Rita: Oh, really? Phil: Every day I wake up without a scratch on me, not a dent in the fender... I am an immortal. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rita: What did you do today? Phil: Oh, same-old same-old. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Felix's Wife: Dr. Connors. I want to thank you for fixing Felix's back. He can even help around the house again. Phil: I'm sorry to hear that, Felix. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: Come on, all the long distance lines are down? What about satellite? Is it snowing in space? Don't you keep open a line for emergencies or for celebrities? I'm both. I'm a celebrity in an emergency. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: When Chekhov saw the long winter, he saw a winter bleak and dark and bereft of hope. Yet we know that winter is just another step in the cycle of life. But standing here among the people of Punxsutawney and basking in the warmth of their hearths and hearts, I couldn't imagine a better fate than a long and lustrous winter. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: Ned, I would love to stay here and talk with you... but I'm not going to. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: Don't mess with me, Porkchop. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: This is pitiful. A thousand people freezing their butts off, waiting to worship a rat. You know, Groundhog Day used to mean something in this town. They used to pull the hog out and they used to *eat* it. You're hypocrites. All a ya. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: Morons. Your bus is leaving. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tsl 7 Posted February 11, 2004 Some funny quotes I found: "Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." - Kristin Wilson, Nintendo, Inc., 1989. "There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." -- Ken Olson, founder, chairman & president of DEC, 1977 "This telephone has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us." -- An internal Western Union memo, 1876 "But what ... is it good for?" --Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip. "Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy!" --Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil in 1859 "Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value." --Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre. "That rainbow song's no good. Take it out." - MGM memo after first showing of The Wizard Of Oz "Radio has no future." "X-rays are clearly a hoax". "The aeroplane is scientifically impossible." - Royal Society president Lord Kelvin, 1897-9. "Forget it. No Civil War picture ever made a nickel." - MGM executive, advising against investing in Gone With The Wind "Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau." --Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, 1929 "And for the tourist who really wants to get away from it all, safaris in Vietnam." - Newsweek magazine, predicting popular holidays for the late 1960s Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Drake 53 Posted February 12, 2004 :lol: I really liked that Vietnam one. :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Radioactive Isotope 29 Posted February 12, 2004 "often i must speak otherwise than i think. that is called diplomacy." ~Stilgar, Dune Messiah Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Roethlisberger 0 Posted February 12, 2004 Where'd you get those, Tsl? They're hilarious! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tsl 7 Posted February 12, 2004 I don't remember, Fett. I think I searched "quotable quotes" on google, and that came up... It was some library or something. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ender 8 Posted February 14, 2004 Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a new dog, you get remarried, you owe ten million dollars in medical bills but you work hard for thirty-five years and you pay it back and then -- one day -- you have a massive stroke, your whole right side is paralyzed, you have to limp along the streets and speak out of the left side of your mouth and drool but you go into rehabilitation and regain the power to walk and the power to talk and then -- one day -- you step off a curb at Sixty-seventh Street, and BANG you get hit by a city bus and then you die. Maybe. -Denis Leary Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
