Lines and Quotes

[Princess 35]

*dumps her drink*

[Ender 8]

Janson be nice to Bean

It's just brotherly love... tis harmless. *Shoves Bean* :p

[Ender 8]

"The Almighty says he can get me outta this, but he's pretty sure you're f*cked."

-The Irish guy from Braveheart

[Ender 8]

"Perhaps it's impossible to wear an identity without becoming what you pretend to be."

-Ender's Game

[Pandora 77]

"Such a fool is love."

~William Shakespeare

[Roethlisberger 0]

Silent Bob's monologue from Chasing Amy

So there?s me an Amy, and we?re all inseparable, right? Just big time in

love. And then about four months in, the idiot gear kicks in and I ask about the ex-boyfriend. Dumb move, I know, but you know how it is - you don?t really want to know, but you just have to... stupid guy bull****.

Anyway she starts telling me all about

him - how they dated for few years, how they lived together, her mother likes me better,

blah, blah, blah - and I?m okay. But

then she drops the bomb on me, and the bomb is this. It seems that a couple times, he brought some people to bed with them - menage a tois, I believe it?s called. Now this just blows my mind. I mean, I?m not used to this sort of thing, right? I was raised Catholic, for god's sake.

So I get weirded out, and just start

blasting her, right? This is the only

way I can deal with what I'm feeling - by calling her a slut, and telling her that she

was used - I mean, I?m out for blood. I

really want to hurt her this girl. I?m like "What the **** is wrong with you?" and she?s all calmly telling me that it was that time, in that place. She's not going to apologize because she didn't feel like she's done anything wrong. I say, "Oh really?" I look her straight in the eye,I tell her it?s over, I walk.

JAY

******* a.

BOB

No, idiot. It was a mistake. I wasn?t disgusted with her, I was afraid. At that moment, I felt small - like I?d lacked experience, like I?d never be on her level.

But what I did not get was that she didn?t care. She wasn?t looking for that guy anymore. She was looking for me - for the Bob. But by the time I figured all this out,

it was too late. She?d moved on, and all I had to show for it was some foolish pride, which later gave way to regret. She was the girl, I know that now. But I pushed her away...

*Everyone?s silent Silent Bob lights a cigarette.*

BOB

So I?ve spent every day since then chasing Amy...So to speak.

The funniest part is: I think that speech is the first time Silent Bob speaks in the film.

[Drake 53]

Quotes from Family Guy.

"A little less talking, a little more SHUT THE HELL UP!"

- Brian

"It's not that I want to kill her...I just dont want her alive..anymore."

- Stewie

"Lois, lets go with the mystery box. The boat is a boat but the mystery box could be anything. It could even be a boat, you know how much we've wanted one of those."

- Peter

"Well, we promised Lois we'd use our powers responsibly, but I suppose doing the exact opposite couldn't hurt."

- Peter

"I was just reading this book about a guy that's all alone at sea.....[shifty eyes] and he doesn't even know I'm watching him."

- Peter

[Roethlisberger 0]

Another one from Family Guy:

Man: Rudolph, I'm sorry to say this, but your red nose is really a tumor.

Rudolph: Is it a happy tumor?

Man: No, I'm afraid not.

[Andy 60]

Some good Red Dwarf quotes. Yes I am bored.

Holly: I am Holly, the ship's computer, with an IQ of 6000, the same IQ as 6000 PE teachers.

Lister: Hang on, he can't do this.  Holly's got an IQ of six thousand!

Holly: Yeah.  Right on.

Queeg: Is that what he told you?

Lister: Well, what is it, then?

Queeg: It has a six in it, but it's not six thousand.

Cat: What is it?

Queeg: Six.

Kryten: Starbug was built to last sir. This old baby's crashed more times than a ZX81.

Lister: The red, green and blue alert signs are all flashing. What the smeg does that mean?

Kryten: Well either we're under attack sir, or we're having a disco.

Cat: Forget red - let's go all the way up to brown alert!

Kryten: There's no such thing as a brown alert sir.

Cat: You won't be saying that in a minute!

Rimmer: I mean what period in history it is, dingleberry breath. What's the year?"

Holly: Well, I'd need some more data before I could give you a precise answer..."

Rimmer: Like?

Holly: Well, this year's calendar would be handy

Kryten: You would risk your life for a mechanoid? Is this the human value you call 'friendship'?

Lister: Cut the Star Trek crap... It's too early in the morning.

Kryten: This is the inquisitor. He prunes away the wastrels, expunges the wretched, and deletes the worthless.

Rimmer: We're in big trouble.

Rimmer: You can't frighten me, I'm a coward. I'm scared all the time.

Holly: What do ya want, the long or short version?

Lister: Long.

Holly: You're finished.

Cat: What's the short version?

Holly: Bye.

[chozen 1]

Beeurd? What's the Jesus one again?

Something like:

Lister: Are you trying to compare Jesus Christ to our great lord?

Rimmer: He had long hair and no job, need any more proof..

_________________________________________________________

Cat: "Hey, I got it! We laser our way through!?"

Kryten: "Ah, an excellent suggestion, Sir, with just two minor drawbacks. One, we don't have a power source for the lasers, and two, we don't have any lasers."

- Cat and Kryten, White Hole

"An excellent and inventive suggestion, sir, with just two tiny drawbacks: a) We don't have any jet-powered rocket pants; and b) there's no such thing as jet-powered rocket pants outside the fictional serial "Robbie Rocket Pants"."

- Kryten, Terrorform

"The time for talking is over. Now call it extreme if you like, but I propose we hit it hard, and we hit it fast, with a major, and I mean major, leaflet campaign. "

- Rimmer, Polymorph

Rimmer: "Erm, I think we're losing sight of the real issue here, which is 'What are we gonna call ourselves?' Erm, and I think it comes down to a choice between 'The League Against Salivating Monsters' or my own personal preference, which is 'The Committee for the Liberation and Integration of Terrifying Organisms and their Rehabilitation Into Society'. Erm, one drawback with that - the abbreviation is 'CLITORIS'."

- Rimmer, Polymorph

Rimmer: "I used to be in the Samaritans."

Lister: "I know. For one morning."

Rimmer: "I couldn't take any more."

Lister: "I don't blame you. You spoke to five people and they all committed suicide. I wouldn't mind, but one was a wrong number! He only phoned up for the cricket scores!"

- Rimmer and Lister, The Last Day

Lister: "I tell you one thing. I've been to a parallel universe, I've seen time running backwards, I've played pool with planets, and I've given birth to twins, but I never thought in my entire life I'd taste an edible Pot Noodle."

- Lister, Demons and Angels

Kryten: "But if people see my face, what are they going to think?"

Rimmer: "Tell them you had an accident. Tell them you took your car to the crushers and forgot to get out."

- Kryten and Rimmer, Backwards

" Well, the thing about a black hole - it's main distinguishing feature - is it's black. And the thing about space, your basic space colour is black. So how are you supposed to see them? "

- Holly, Marooned

" We could go back to Dallas in November 1963, stand on the grassy knoll, and shout 'Duck!' "

- Kryten, Timeslides

[Drake 53]

The Final Tally (LOTR:TTT:SE)

Legolas: Final count....forty-two.

Gimli: Forty-two? Oh...that's not bad for a pointy-eared Elvish princling. I, myself, am sitting pretty on forty-three.

Legolas: *whips out an arrow and shoots the Orc Gimli is sitting on* Forty-three.

Gimli: He was already dead...

Legolas: He was twitching.

Gimli: He was twitching 'cause he's got my axe embedded in his nervous system!

:p

[Bad furday 57]

When that professor doof in Atlantis asks the amazon-like Atlantian warrior woman, "Parle vous le francais?", and she cries, " Oui, monsieur!" with a big grin, and the fat French explorer cries,

"Ooohhhhhh! Voule vous couche avec moi, ce soire?"

and the Atlantian woman slaps him, hard, causing the other explorers to burst into applause.

:D

[Ender 8]

The old American gentleman arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs he fumbled for his passport.

"You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically. The old gent admitted that he had been to France before.

"Then, you should know enough to have your passport ready for

inspection," snapped the irate official.

The American said, "The last time I came to France I did not have to show my passport."

"Impossible, old man. You Americans always have to show your Passports on arrival in France!"

The old American gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then, with a tinge

of acid on his words, calmly stated, "I assure you,...young man, that when

I came ashore on Omaha Beach in Normandy on D-Day in 1944, there were no goddamn Frenchmen anywhere on that beach.

~An e-mail my uncle, to whom this happened, sent me. He came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day and fought to the end of WWII.

[Andy 60]

Well, he should have had his passport ready... :roll:

[chozen 1]

Oh what a brilliant joke.. Let?s not forget that Intel from various other nations resulted in many more American lives being saved. Your uncle's probably one of them. So next time you knock the French about not using any forces in the D-Day landing, remember that it was a father of a ordinary men, ordinary French custom officials fathers probably saved his damn life.

[Drake 53]

Take this elsewhere, please. The Discussion Thread sounds good.

[Ender 8]

For Christ's sake, I'm not trying to make fun of them. It's just something that I thought would go into the quotes thread, so I posted. Even you cant deny that most French people, especially Parisians, are arrogant SOB's that think they can snort at anyone in the world. /rant.

[Princess 35]

Both of you go take 5 laps around the block and cool down. Now.

[chozen 1]

Nope.. I'm cool.. I just think it's stupid that at this site you can't say one wrong thign about America but most people are quite compelled to nuke france.. I was pointing out that because French didn't fight back in the Second World War you can't hold it against every French person... and frankly, i can't blame the government that they didnt.

but that's just pointless and it does belong in the discussion thread.

[Andy 60]

HOLLY: Rude alert!  Rude alert!  An electrical fire has knocked out my

  voice recognition unicycle!  Many Wurlitzers are missing from my

  database!  Abandon shop!  This is not a daffodil.  Repeat:  This is

  _not_ a daffodil!

Hehehe

[chozen 1]

:lol: I saw that one the other day...

" How did I end up like this? On a ship where the fourth most popular pastime is going down to the laundry room and watching my knickers spin dry? "

- Kochanski, Duct Soup

" So let me get this straight. You want to fly on a magic carpet to see the King of the Potato People and plead with him for your freedom, and you're telling me you're completely sane? "

- Rimmer, Quarantine

[Andy 60]

hehe, and this one:

"Our biggest enemy is going space crazy through loneliness. The only thing that helps me maintain my slender grip on reality is the friendship I share with my collection of singing potatoes."

- Holly

[TheUnknown 39]

Quotes from The West Wing

President: We meant "stronger" here, right?

Sam: What does it say?

President: "I'm proud to report our country's stranger than it was a year ago"?

Sam: That's a typo.

President: Could go either way.

CJ: Yosh.

Josh: What the hell happened?

CJ: I had woot canaow.

Josh: What happened to your cheeks?

CJ: I had woot canow.

Josh: Why are you talking like that?

CJ: I HAD WOOT CANOW! (winces in pain and holds the side of her cheek)

Josh: Yeah, I heard you the first time. I was just amusing myself.

CJ: I can suwggess some ofwer things you can do wiff yowrseff.

Josh: Are you in pain?

CJ: I HAD WOOT CANOW!

Josh: You're going to have to stop saying that because you just look and sound so ridiculous.

CJ: I wanted to mention to you. This is our fifth press briefing since midnight. And obviously there's one story that's gonna be dominating the news around the world for the next few days. And it would be easy to think that President Bartlet, Joshua Lyman, and Stephanie Abbott were the only people who were victims of a gun crime last night. They weren't. Mark Davis and Sheila Evans of Philadelphia were killed by a gun last night. He was a biology teacher and she was a nursing student. Tina Bishop and Belinda Larkin were killed with a gun last night. They were twelve. There were 36 homicides last night. 480 sexual assaults. 3411 robberies. 3685 aggravated assaults. All at gun point. And if anyone thinks those crimes could have been prevented if the victims themselves had been carrying guns, I'd only remind you that the President of the United States was shot last night while surrounded by the best trained guards in the history of the world.

(Talking to his daugther's boyfriend) President: Just remember these two things: she's nineteen years old, and the 82nd Airborne works for me.

(Talking about the Thanksgiving turkeys) CJ: The more photo-friendly of the two turkeys gets a Presidential pardon and a full life at a children's petting zoo; the other one gets eaten.

President: If the Oscars were like that, I'd watch.

Charlie: Zoey and I are going out, Leo

Leo: You're taking protection, right?

Charlie: Leo, that's kind of personal!

Leo: I meant Secret Service but thanks for the image.

Zoey: Good night, Leo.

[chozen 1]

(Talking to his daugther's boyfriend) President: Just remember these two things: she's nineteen years old, and the 82nd Airborne works for me.

:lol:

[Ender 8]

That's what my dad says... he'll walk up to me and start whistling the Marine's Hymn...crazy dad. ;)