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Jake Durron

The Lunacy Bin

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Jake Durron

What if they had MySpace in Hell?

Blog posted by: TheAlabasterAbs

Subject: Name the Amazing Goat Boy

Mood: Other.

Hi, Lestat here, that's right your favorite immortal come once more to enthrall you with my tale. Have I ever mentioned how much religion just doesn't affect me? I don't care about church or god or hell, though I'd like to think that if I ever died I'd end up in heaven. But seriously, if there was a god who was all powerful and immortal, don't you think he'd be pissed off about us being here?

Yeah, that's what I thought too, but this really has nothing to do with God, or nothing pressing in any case. No this has to do with the other one, the big baddie, the ultimate thorn in every evangelical bible thumpers' side. The Devil. Yeah that's right, the Devil, oh and by the way, he hates being called Satan, and Lucifer, and well almost every name you paranormal fearing pansies call him.

So why am I telling you this? Because personally, I think Memnoch is a really stupid name and he needs another one, which brings us to now. I'm going to collect your suggestions and send the best ones on to my scary friend so he can pick something a little less... archangelish.

Love and kisses,

Lestat, aka TheAlabasterAbs

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Reply from: VirtuousPersuader

Why would you want to rename Memnoch? The Almighty gave him that name. Is it not good enough for you?

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Reply from: TheAlabasterAbs

Oh look, a bible thumper, my dearest readers! I want to rename him because it sounds like a genital deformity and makes me want to pop balloon animals at the circus. He needs something that will make people think twice don't you agree?

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Reply from: VirtuousPersuader

I beg your pardon! A genital WHAT?? Memnoch is a divine name! If you?re so smart, why don?t you come up with a new name yourself? Or do you dare defy our Lord God?

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Reply from: TheAlabasterAbs

How about Fluffy?

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Reply from: VirtuousPersuader

That?s absurd! FLUFFY???? Does your fallen one LOOK like a shi-ztu?

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Reply from: TheAlabasterAbs

Well actually he looks more like Darth Vader but I believe that's taken. How about if I call him Susej?

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Reply from: VirtuousPersuader

Oh come on, he?s not THAT bad-looking, is he? And Susej? What is that, the Hebrew take on raw fish wrapped up in sticky rice and seaweed?

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Reply from: TheAlabasterAbs

No my beloved non-dyslexic, that is Jesus, backwards. What you are thinking of is well rather foul actually but if you moved it northeast a bit it?s called Sushi. What would you have him called if Memnoch was out of the question? What name do you find suitable for such a well loved being?

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Reply from: VirtuousPersuader

How about? the Courageous One... or? He Who Only Seeks the Truth?. Oh this is stupid! What are you complaining for, anyway? Memnoch is easier to spell than Mephistopheles and easier to pronounce than Beelzebub (other than for the eight people on the planet that can actually say it right). Be grateful for what God gives you!

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Reply from: TheAlabasterAbs

Oh yes because God is merciful in his gifts, how silly of me to forget. How about Brian?

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Reply from: VirtuousPersuader

BRIAN??? What the?Pride is a sin, smartass!

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Reply from: TheAlabasterAbs

You would say God is all-knowing, right?

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Reply from: VirtuousPersuader

One can only hope.

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Reply from: TheAlabasterAbs

I HAVE IT! I KNOW WHAT WE SHOULD CALL HIM!

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Reply from: VirtuousPersuader

Do I want to know?

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Reply from: TheAlabasterAbs

Well if God is all knowing then we can safely call him Brain. Thus Memnoch can be no other than Pinky.

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Reply from: VirtuousPersuader

EXCUSE ME?!?!?!?!?! I AM NOT HIS SIDEKICK, YOU DAMN BRAT!

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Reply from: TheAlabastarAbs

Sidekick... Arch Nemesis... Is there really a difference, and you?d better check that pride Mr. It-is-a-SIN!.

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Reply from: VirtuousPersuader

Oh, BITE me! Don?t you have some nuns to hit on and send to the Funny Farm?

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Reply from: TheAlabastarAbs

I would be quite the dispicable character if I didn't say this gently, but we knew that such a pure reputation I've never owned. I don't do Beastiality, Pinky, hate to break it to you.

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Reply from: VirtuousPersuader

That?s it! You?re out of my Top 8! You?re going to the bottom of the list next to TOM!

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Reply from: TheAlabastarAbs

...You still have tom as a friend? Wow, and I though Louis' page was lame!

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Reply from: VirtuousPersuader

Who has time for MySpace? There?s literally millions of souls banging at my office door right now, demanding to be shown the light. What have YOU done lately??

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Reply from: TheAlabastarAbs

Stopped a Genocide, defied God's we are immortal you are mortal get over it we rule you plan, twice, Gave the biggest concert of the year, brought the coven together and rid the world of evil all while looking prettier than you.

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Reply from: VirtuousPersuader

Let?s just see how pretty you look when I slap a spam report on your ass?

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