Stephen 0 Posted May 18, 2007 LUKE: Geez, it?s cold here! DROID: [THUD!] LUKE: Was that a droid? Better go make it mad. TAUN TAUN: [?Dude! Get off and let me run!?] LUKE: What?s wrong sweetie? WAMPA: [WHACK!] LUKE: ?crap? DROID: [?Look a deserted base.?] HAN: Let?s shoot it, Chewie! DROID: [?Oh, guess I was wrong. ALERT!?] HAN: [bLAM!] Guess they know we?re here now. CHEWIE: [?Duh! Think so, lazer-brains!??] HAN: Now that I alerted the Imperials, I?m leaving. LEIA: Just like that? HAN: Just like that. Kiss my wookie, princess! LEIA: I JUST MIGHT, YOU NERF-HERDER!! WAMPA: [?Taun Taun ? la tar-tar? my favorite.?] LUKE: Must?get?lightsaber? WAMPA: [?Oh, my guest is awake!?] LUKE: [sLICE!] WAMPA: [?Noooo! My cooking arm!?] LUKE: Just a few? more? steps? OBI-WAN: Go see Yoda. LUKE: Who? OBI-WAN: Yo-da! LUKE: Well, ?Yo? to you too?? OBI-WAN: Just go to Dagobah, you idiot. TAUN TAUN: [?It?s frickin freezing in here Mr. Solo.?] [DIES] HAN: Great? now I can use this coccoon of animal effluence to keep the Kid alive. LUKE: Smells like ass in here. HAN: Shut up, it?ll keep you warm. LUKE: ?oh, yeah? DAGOBAH! YODA! DAGOBAH! YODA! LEIA: What?s Luke doing? DOCTOR: Taking a warm bubble-bath. LEIA: Ooo! Can I be next? HAN: Can I watch? LEIA: [Rolls-eyes] Nevermind. LUKE: Look! They had to write this in to cover the car wreck I got in. LEIA: Yeah, thanks for making us remember new lines! HAN: I?m leaving. Can?t stand to loose me, eh, Princess? LEIA: Oh, yeah! Come here, Luke! [KISS!] LUKE: Ew? felt like kissing my Aunt Beru. LEIA: Ew? felt like kissing my dad. HAN: Let?s get out of here, Princess! LUKE: I?m going to try and get killed instead! LEIA: See ya, Luke! DAK: Luke! I?m completely useless back here! I?m surprised they even gave me a name! LUKE: It?s okay, you?ll have an Expanded Universe story written about you to make you seem more important. AT-AT: [bLAM!] DAK: *Ouch* LUKE: Oops? AT-AT: [bLAM!] GENERATOR: *Ouch* AT-AT COMMANDER: We did it! w00t! AT-AT DRIVER: Yeah, we?re l33t! AT-AT GUNNER: roxx0r! LUKE: Screw this place, let?s go see Yo. R2-D2: [?It?s Yoda.?] LUKE: No, he?s at Dagobah. R2-D2: [sigh] STAR DESTROYER CAPTAIN: Look! The Falcon! VADER: WHERE?!?! S.D. CAPTAIN: Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!! Just Kidding! That was priceless! VADER: GrrrrrrrrRRRRRR!!!? [FORCE CHOKE!] S.D. CAPTAIN: *Ouch* SPACE SLUG: [?La-la-la-la-ack! I think I swallowed a fly!?] HAN: Wow, this is a cozy cave. Wanna get friendly? LEIA: Leave me alone. MYNOCKS: [?BOO! HA-HA-HA-HA?] LEIA: It?s not a cave! HAN: Yeah, my bad. Let?s go see the guy who hates me. LEIA: Is he a hottie? CHEWIE: [?Ha-ha-ha-ha!?] HAN: Shut up, rug! LUKE: We can?t see anything! Let?s crash into the water leaving no chance for escape! R2-D2: [?Whatever you say. You?re the boss!?] X-WING: [Ker-SPLASH!] R2-D2: [?Something?s alive down here.?] LUKE: Stop being paranoid! R2-D2: [?HOLY !$%$@~!?] LUKE: [blush] Heh-heh? sorry, Artoo! My bad! YODA: Lost are you? LUKE: No, I?m looking for Yo. YODA: Mean you Yoda? LUKE: No, this is Dagobah! Geez! YODA: Yoda my name is, not Yo. Sent by Obi-Wan you were, yes? Mmm? LUKE: You?re a Jedi! LUKE: Yes? mmm? hehehe! LUKE: Give me the crash course Jedi training. YODA: In a hurry are you? LUKE: Yes, I have a bad feeling about something. YODA: Bad feeling someone has in every movie? How embarrassing. YODA: Move rocks? do some cardio? concentrate? LUKE: [Moves rocks, does cardio, concentrates] YODA: Done you are! Forget years of training as in the old times we must! LUKE: Works for me! I have to go to Bespin. YODA: No?erm?wait! Training you haven?t completed. Ready you aren?t! LUKE: I?m not ready for what? YODA: Erm? nothing I said. LANDO: You !@#$@^%!!! ?? I MISSED YOU, YA BIG GALLOOT! HAN: Hiya, Lando. Nice cape. LANDO: Do you think so? I think it accentuates my lovely thighs. LEIA: [Giggle] LANDO: And who is this lovely lady with the fashion sense? HAN: Cut it, Lando? we all know you?re gay. LANDO: Hmph! Fine! Let?s go see my other guest! VADER: SURPRISE! I HAVE YOU NOW! HAN: ?crap? VADER: Put this mug on ice! LEIA: I love you, Han. HAN: Yeah? whatever? I could?ve used some action. Now I?m fridged! BOBA: But I want him alive. He?s so soft? My preciousssssss? VADER: Uh? right? he?s fine. See! Take him to Jabba. LUKE: LEIA! LEIA: IT?S A TRAP! LUKE: Well, I can?t disappoint Vader. He made all those plans. LEIA: GEEZ! YOU?RE AN IDIOT! LUKE: I get that a lot. LANDO: Let?s go Fashion Squad! We must save the princess! FASHION SQUAD: [Lisp] Yeth?thir! LEIA: You saved us! Thanks! What?s going to happen to you? LANDO: I?m Super! Thanks for asking! Don?t I look cute in this cape? LEIA: [rolls eyes] VADER: ?Sup, Luke. LUKE: YOU! You killed my father! VADER: Ah? Ha-ha-ha! Just wait about ten more minutes and I?ll explain my laughter. LUKE: Okay then. Duel? VADER: Yeah, why not! LEIA: We have to save Han! LANDO: Boba has him. He?s so cute in his little helmet. LEIA: Let?s go! BOBA: Mine! My precious! [Flies away] LANDO: Well, poo! LEIA: Let?s go. He?s taking him to Jabba. VADER: [Lightsabers clash] LUKE: [Falls in carbon freezer] VADER: What? That?s it? Dumbass! LUKE: [Jumps up] VADER: Impressive? you?re like a monkey! [Force-throws objects at Luke] LUKE: Stop! You cheater! I can't hit stuff traveling at 5 miles per hour! Ouch! Oof! WHOA! [Flies out window] VADER: You?re trapped on this balcony! Hahaha! LUKE: You?re just a big bully. VADER: [Cuts off Luke?s hand] ?like father; like son? LUKE: What was that? VADER: Oh?er?nothing. LUKE: Why?d you have to kill my father! VADER: Nope! Boy, you really ARE an idiot. I?am your father. LUKE: ?crap?DAMN YOU AND YOUR PLOT TWISTS, LUCAS! I?ll just commit suicide! LEIA: Oh, crap! We forgot Luke! LANDO: He?s just hanging out. LEIA: [Rolls eyes] That was corny. LANDO: IT?S NOT MY FAULT! Blame the writer! LEIA: Luke! LUKE: Leia! LEIA: Luke! LUKE: Leia! LUKE: There? I have a hand better than my fathers?. Ha-ha-ha! LEIA: Oh, Luke. You?re such a child. LANDO: Let?s go save Han! TROOPS: [Lisp]Yeth?thir! Yaaaaaaaay! [ROLL CREDITS] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
