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The Red Baron

Episode I Story Rewrite.

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The Red Baron

This is my version of Star Wars Episode I. This is how I believe it should have happened. Read it and tell me what you think.

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The Red Baron

STAR WARS: EPISODE I ? THE PHANTOM MENACE (REWRITE)

A Story by Adam Redsell. Original Story and Film by George Lucas.

Act I Scene 1 ? An Echo in the Force

Obi-wan Kenobi is flying in a Jedi Starfighter on the Outer Rim, when he receives a holographic transmission from Master Yoda. He congratulates Obi-wan on his progress thus far, and Obi-wan fervently asks if that makes him a Jedi Master, but Yoda tells him that his training is not yet complete. Yoda tells him that a master must have an apprentice, and thus the final tier of his training requires him to take on his own apprentice and instruct him in the ways of the Force. Obi-wan accepts his mission and Yoda wishes him well before the holotransmission ends. Obi-wan begins searching in his mind for potential Force sensitives, but when he senses a huge echo in the Force, he narrowly averts a collision with a spice freighter. He changes course to trace the source of this echo, landing on Tatooine.

Act I Scene 2 ? Anakin Skywalker

Anakin is a teenage starship mechanic in Mos Eisley. He doesn?t employ the aid of an astromech droid, as he does not need one, and the technology is mostly salvage from the area. A few of his colleagues have scavenger droids. Anakin can be quite discerning when it comes to how things operate, even ships he?s had no exposure to. His colleagues throw hydrospanners at him when he least expects it, because they know he?ll catch it ? to them, it?s just a trick he does. They like to show off his freakish reflexes to customers, but often they do it for their own amusement. He?s always telling them to stop doing it. When a pilot takes his ship to Anakin, Anakin can tell them which parts will pose him danger in the future. A keen pilot himself, Anakin enjoys test-driving the starships before his patrons return. It is while he?s test-driving a ship that he comes into the presence of Obi-wan. He notices a Jedi Starfighter, and then makes a second pass to make sure he?s not just seeing things ? a Jedi craft is an absolute rarity given that Tatooine is outside of the Republic?s jurisdiction. He lands the ship next to Obi-wan?s to check it out.

Act I Scene 3 ? Search for an Apprentice

Anakin inquires Obi-wan as to what brings a Jedi to these parts. Obi-wan says that the Force brought him there. Anakin is curious about the nature of the Force. Obi-wan cryptically elucidates in saying that he is searching for his apprentice. Anakin naturally asks him to describe his apprentice so he can help find him. Obi-wan keeps things cryptic and describes skills and traits that Anakin possesses. Obi-wan notes Anakin?s interest in spacecraft and offers to let him pilot his starfighter, if he agrees to help him find his apprentice. Anakin agrees, and this becomes a test of his skills, reflexes and potential for Obi-wan. As they cruise the surface of Tatooine, Anakin fools around with some adventurous manoeuvres, narrowly averting dangerous interactions with mountains, canyons, and large beasts. Obi-wan is a little shaken once he lands the craft. Anakin bemoans the fact that they didn?t find Obi-wan?s apprentice, but Obi-wan corrects him. They did find his apprentice, and Anakin is him. Anakin, astonished, asks him how this can be, so Obi-wan brings his innate Force sensitivity to his attention: his precognition and reflexes, among other things. Anakin is excited by the prospect, but he hesitates, and Obi-wan can sense this, so he asks him what the matter is. He says that it?s his mother. A few years ago, his people were attacked by slave-traders that kidnapped his mother and he doesn?t know where they took her. He?s circled the entire planet countless times, but he couldn?t find her there. Obi-wan suggests that perhaps on his path to becoming a Jedi, the answers might present themselves. Anakin?s fondness and knowledge of starships stems from his desire to leave Tatooine. He is a skilled mechanic and enjoys test-driving starships, but for him it is really just a means to get by. He wants to see the galaxy and make something of his life. With these things in mind, Anakin agrees to leave with Obi-wan Kenobi to receive training in the ways of the Jedi. Anakin says goodbye to his fellow mechanics and they ask him what he?s doing, because work isn?t over yet. He tells them he?ll see them later, leaves his tools behind, and walks out of the hangar bay with Obi-wan. One of the mechanics walks out and calls after Anakin to tell him he?s left his tools behind, but trails off once he realises he?s out of earshot. The mechanic shakes his head and grins in resignation as he watches Anakin walk away. Anakin tells Obi-wan that he needs to say goodbye to a friend before he leaves?

Act I Scene 4 ? Obi-wan Meets Owen

Anakin takes Obi-wan back in his landspeeder to a moisture farm in Anchorhead. They get out of the landspeeder, and Anakin calls out to Owen. Owen is finishing up on the farm for the day, and asks Anakin why he isn?t still at work himself. Anakin tells him that there?s someone he wants him to meet ? Obi-wan Kenobi. Anakin introduces Obi-wan to Owen, and they shake hands, although Owen greets him with much suspicion. Owen finishes up, and invites them back to his homestead for refreshments.

Act I Scene 5 ? Owen?s Objection

They sit down at the dinner table while Beru serves cups of purple fluid (a la Episode IV). Owen asks Obi-wan where he?s from and Obi-wan replies that he came there from Coruscant. Owen probes further, asking why someone from Coruscant would travel all the way to the Outer Rim. Obi-wan answers that he is a Jedi Knight on a mission to find an apprentice. Anakin adds that he?s going with Obi-wan to Coruscant to be trained as a Jedi, and that he?s come to say goodbye. Owen is distressed by this announcement, and asks Anakin if he can talk with him outside. He asks Anakin if he?s lost his mind, and tells him that he should stay away from Obi-wan?s kind, because the Jedi are dangerous. Anakin says that there?s nothing left for him here, and that this might be his chance to find his mother. Owen tells Anakin that his mother is gone; that there?s nothing he can do about it, and he needs to let her go. He tells him that he?s a great mechanic, and that he should stay on Tatooine where it?s safe, and not let himself get involved. Anakin tells Owen that it?s a dead-end for him here, and he wants to make something of himself, then drags Owen back inside. Obi-wan gets up and tells Owen that he can tell he does not approve of Anakin?s decision, but that his gifting in the Force is too big to ignore. Owen gives Anakin a hug and tells him to take care of himself. Anakin thanks Owen for looking out for him and wishes him well with his moisture farm. Obi-wan and Anakin board the Jedi Starfighter and leave for Coruscant?

Act I Scene 6 ? Anakin?s Approval

Obi-wan and Anakin stand before the Jedi Council to approve Anakin?s training as a Jedi. Obi-wan gushes about Anakin?s instinctive strength and potential in the Force, but Yoda warns Obi-wan not to over-inflate the boy, for he is full of fear. Obi-wan retorts that the Council are expecting Anakin to run before he can walk. Conceding to his point, the Council approve Anakin?s training in the Jedi arts, but warn Obi-wan to be mindful. Once Obi-wan and Anakin leave the chamber, Mace Windu comments on the immense power and sense of destiny that he felt in the boy?s presence. Yoda agrees, but admits that the future surrounding him is too clouded to see. Always in motion, the future is.

Act I Scene 7 ? Impressive?Most Impressive: Part One

Anakin?s Jedi training begins in the Meditation Chamber. Here Obi-wan teaches him to clear his thoughts and centre himself in the Force. He then learns about the very nature of the Force ? that it flows through and binds everything. He correctly induces that this means that he can move objects. Obi-wan asserts this notion, and then demonstrates how to move objects in the chamber.

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Act II Scene 1 ? Shoot the Messenger

General Grievous? spies on Dxun find a Mandalorian Base Camp. They are training their warriors intensely, stockpiling assault weapons from conquered systems, and rebuilding their assault transports. Soon after the spies report back to Grievous, they are blasted by Mandalorian sentries.

Act II Scene 2 ? Impressive?Most Impressive: Part Two

Anakin and Obi-wan train in the Combat Chamber. They begin training and sparring with staffs, then vibroblades. Obi-wan teaches Anakin all the different stances and techniques.

Act II Scene 3 ? Grievous? Proposal

General Grievous reports to Queen Amidala in the throne room. He kneels before her and informs her that two of his spies on Dxun have been killed. He adds that the Mandalorian presence on the moon is stronger than ever, and that they have enough firepower to make a landing on Onderon. She commands him to withdraw any surviving personnel from Dxun. Furthermore, he suggests that they should make full use of the technology at their disposal and use it to build clone armies to defend Onderon. Queen Amidala denies this request on the grounds that it would be a direct contravention of Republic law. She tells Grievous that she will not condone an action that will lead to war. Grievous curtly accepts and is dismissed. Grievous rises, about-turns, and leaves the room. Once Grievous has left the room, Amidala calls upon one of her handmaidens. She comes and kneels before her majesty. Amidala instructs her to follow Grievous and find out what he?s up to. She obeys and leaves the room.

Act II Scene 4 ? Proceed

Grievous walks down the corridor from the throne room into his chamber. Grievous? second-in-charge enters his chamber, and salutes his general. He asks Grievous if they are to proceed with the operation. He tells him to proceed, but to exercise extreme caution. His second-in-charge salutes him, about-turns, and leaves his chamber.

Act II Scene 5 ? Impressive?Most Impressive: Part Three

Obi-wan takes Anakin to some chasms in the Combat Chamber, where he teaches him to Force-jump. Anakin gets himself into a perilous situation here, but his resourcefulness prevails. Gripping the edge with a few fingers, Anakin pulls himself up the wall at speed, somersaults, and lands on his feet. Obi-wan is impressed to say the least.

Act II Scene 6 ? Grievous? Inspection

Grievous walks outside the Iziz city limits and into the canyon. The handmaiden watches from behind a rock as the ground opens up before Grievous. He boards a platform that takes him to the lower levels of the facility as the ground closes up behind him. The handmaiden contacts the Queen to inform her that Grievous has just entered a secret underground facility outside of the Iziz city limits. Meanwhile, Grievous inspects the progress of his underground cloning facility. His second-in-charge informs him that his first squad of clone troopers are ready. They turn on the incline towards Grievous, present arms, and salute. He commends his men on their progress, but receives a transmission from the Queen, requesting his presence in her chamber.

Act II Scene 7 ? Impressive?Most Impressive: Part Four

The final tier of Anakin?s basic training comes in the form of a gift. Obi-wan presents him with his very own lightsabre. Obi-wan gets Anakin to train with a remote, and later, with a visor over his eyes. Eventually, Anakin?s blind reflexes become so quick that he slices the remote into quarters with a leap, downwards strike, then a sideways strike.

Act II Scene 8 ? Grievous? Coup

Grievous enters Queen Amidala?s throne room and stands before her. She asks him why he deliberately disobeyed her orders and Grievous replies with a tirade on the weakness of the Republic and the incompetence of her leadership. She orders her guards to arrest him on the charge of treason and violating Republic law, but his clone troopers storm the throne room and capture her instead. The clone armies execute the Royal Guard, while the real Queen ? under the guise of one of her handmaidens ? escapes to make an emergency transmission to Master Yoda. The escape is short-lived, however, as Grievous soon realises that the Queen is an impostor. He hears the outgoing transmission in the throne room, checks the control panel to trace the source of the message, and sends a squad of clone troopers to capture her. Yoda listens as her message becomes static. Grievous eventually seizes full control over Onderon, builds more cloning facilities, and begins full-scale production.

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Act III Scene 1 ? Onderon?s Secession

A Senate meeting on Coruscant is interrupted by a holotransmission from General Grievous. Grievous reports that his spies were killed on Dxun after witnessing Mandalorian forces rebuilding Basilisks and stockpiling weapons from conquered systems. He emphasises the Mandalorian threat to Onderon and its neighbouring systems, and requests military aid from the Republic to pre-emptively strike the Mandalorian Base Camp on Dxun. Representatives of Onderon?s neighbouring systems agree with Grievous? assessment of the Mandalorian threat and verbally support his proposition. Supreme Chancellor Valorum tells General Grievous that the Mandalorians wouldn?t dare invade a Republican system, and that a request for military aid cannot be verified unless it comes from Queen Amidala herself. Grievous informs Valorum that he is the new leader of Onderon and his request can now be verified. Valorum states that the Queen was popularly elected for a term of three years and that she is the recognised leader of Onderon until that term ends. Grievous gives a tirade about the weakness of Queen Amidala?s leadership and her failure to act. Valorum asks Grievous what he has done with Queen Amidala. Grievous simply says that he was acting in the best interests of his people. He adds that if the Republic will not take this threat seriously, then it is in the interests of Onderon?s security to secede from the Republic. Before Valorum has a chance to reply, Grievous cuts the holotransmission short. A rabble rouses in the Senate as Valorum struggles to maintain order?

Act III Scene 2 ? Prime Candidates

Master Yoda holds a special meeting of the Jedi Council on Coruscant to inform them that General Grievous has overthrown and imprisoned Queen Amidala. They all agree that a rescue mission should be conducted to save her and to investigate Grievous? activities. The Council decides to send two Jedi who are young and agile, so naturally they select Obi-wan and his new student. Yoda volunteers to inform them.

Act III Scene 3 ? Anakin?s First Mission

Obi-wan and Anakin are sparring with their lightsabres in the Combat Chamber. At one point, Anakin seemingly defeats Obi-wan, pointing his lightsabre down at him as he?s lying on the floor. Obi-wan exploits Anakin?s playful cockiness, however, and turns the tables on him. Now Anakin is on the floor with a lightsabre pointed at him. Yoda is impressed by what he sees in secret, but remains wary of Anakin?s cocky attitude. Master Yoda interrupts Obi-Wan and Anakin?s training to brief them on their mission. By the time Yoda enters the chamber, they are exhausted, their garments are tattered, and their facial hair is overgrown. Yoda instructs Obi-Wan and Anakin to rescue the Queen as their first priority, and to investigate General Grievous? activities on Onderon. They clean themselves up, board their starfighters and leave for Onderon?

Act III Scene 4 ? The Sith Lords

Darth Sidious is sitting and meditating in a dark chamber. His face is hidden completely in the darkness. Another cloaked figure enters the room, removes his hood, and bows down. He asks his master what his bidding is. Sidious turns his chair around and tells his apprentice that everything is going according to plan. He tells his apprentice that it is time for him to do his part. This scene is kept deliberately cryptic, so that the audience cannot identify the Sith Lords, nor understand their plan.

Act III Scene 5 ? Separatist Alliance

General Grievous holds a secret meeting with Onderon?s neighbouring systems concerning the perceived Mandalorian threat. They are concerned about the Mandalorians? activities, as they have conquered systems outside of the Republic?s jurisdiction in past decades, and now they appear to be preparing themselves for another invasion. They are equally concerned that Chancellor Valorum and the Senate are not taking this threat seriously. Grievous emphasises the threat and the Republic?s apathy and implores the system leaders to join the Confederacy of Independent Systems. He tells them that they can free themselves of the Republic?s shackles; that together they can utilise the technologies at their disposal to ?defend? themselves against the Mandalorian ?scourge?. Of course, he makes reference to cloning for military purposes as the lynchpin of his strategy against the Mandalorians. The system leaders agree and sign the Separatist Alliance. Their first resolution is to secede from the Republic, build cloning facilities in their respective systems, and to begin clone army production as soon as possible.

Act III Scene 6 ? Call to Arms

Charismatic Jedi Khameir Sarin holds a forum of Jedi Knights. He believes that the Republic is not taking the Mandalorian threat seriously and that if action is not taken soon, the Republic will be perceived as ineffective and apathetic, and more systems will secede. Sarin explains that the Mandalorians have conquered worlds just outside the border, and are stockpiling weapons from these planets. He argues that the Jedi are not called to apathy, but to compassion and peacemaking, and that by pre-emptively striking the Mandalorians on Dxun, galactic warfare can be avoided in the future. He adds that if the Mandalorians are allowed to conquer more worlds and further build their arsenal, the Jedi will be forced to fight as soldiers in a war they cannot win. A large group of Jedi Knights agree with Sarin, and pledge themselves to his cause.

Khameir Sarin stands before the Jedi Council to bring the same case before them. He informs them that he will be leading a group of Jedi Knights to Dxun. Master Yoda does not agree with Khameir?s case, instead believing that there is a greater evil at work, and that the Jedi should wait until the true enemy is revealed. Khameir argues that doing nothing can only allow evil to grow, and the Council decide that if he and the other Jedi Knights believe so strongly that this is the right course of action, they must be allowed to go.

The Jedi Knights board a dropship and set hyperspace co-ordinates for Dxun?

Act III Scene 7 ? Jailbreak

While General Grievous is busy co-ordinating the Separatist treaty, Obi-wan and Anakin land in a canyon outside of the city limits of Iziz. They run fully cloaked across Onderon?s rocky terrain with speed and stealth. They encounter a sentry of clone troopers and waste them. They sneak through Iziz, peering around corners, hiding behind walls, running and jumping along rooftops. They cut a hole through the wall of Queen Amidala?s prison block with their lightsabres, using Force push to throw the prison guards into the wall. They use their lightsabres to disrupt the force cage imprisoning her. She asks them who they are, and they tell her that they are keepers of the peace. Another squad of clone troopers come running down the corridor to her cell block. Anakin picks up a blaster rifle with the Force and hands it to the Queen. The Queen, taken aback, holds the blaster awkwardly and fires at the clone troopers. The Jedi deflect enemy blaster fire and carry the Queen back through the wall opening they created. When they reach safety, they ask the Queen if she knows what Grievous is up to. She says she may have an idea?

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Act IV Scene 1 ? Dxun Landing

Separatist dropships land in the jungle of Dxun, crushing the trees beneath them as the wildlife scrambles. Their hangars open uniformly and battalions of clone troopers march onto the surface of the jungle moon. They march towards the Mandalorian Base Camp?

Act IV Scene 2 ? Spanner in the Works: Part One

Obi-wan, Anakin and Amidala sneak back to the outer limits of Iziz, overlooking the canyon where they landed from behind a rock. They can see a squad of clone troopers scrutinising their starfighters. Suddenly the ground opens up in the canyon, and a battalion of clone troopers marches out into the hangar of an Onderonian dropship. Once the dropship takes off, the three run towards the opening before it closes. Anakin carries Amidala on his back and climbs down the wall with Obi-wan. They slide down to land on the elevator platform as it descends. They see the awesome spectacle of human soldier production at every level. Amidala is astonished to realise that these are clones of Grievous himself. Obi-Wan whispers to Master Yoda via commlink that General Grievous is producing clone armies of himself. Yoda becomes very concerned about the group of Jedi that went to Dxun?

Act IV Scene 3 ? The Second Mandalorian War

The clone army marches through the jungles of Dxun, eliminating any Mandalorian sentries along the way with barrages of blaster fire. The clone army commander sees the Jedi dropship above them and orders the army to halt. The dropship lands in front of the clone army, crushing the trees beneath it. The hangar opens and Khameir Sarin walks out to meet the clone army commander to discuss the attack. The Jedi Knights are astonished by the discipline and uniformity of the army before them (they are unaware that these troopers are clones). Once the discussion is complete, the Jedi Knights join the front ranks of the clone army. The army marches onward. Finally, they reach the entrance to the Mandalorian Base Camp, where the Mandalorian army is waiting for them. The Jedi run towards the Mandalorians, brandishing their blue lightsabres as blaster fire erupts from the ground. The clone troopers follow their lead and storm the gates. The Second Mandalorian War has begun?

Act IV Scene 4 ? Republic in Tatters

There is a rabble in the Senate as representatives are anxious about the system exodus from the Republic and Onderon's military action on Dxun. Representatives lobby for increased military capabilities and expenditure to counter the Separatist threat. Chancellor Valorum denies their request, on the grounds that they will exceed the Republic's self-imposed limit, and that such actions could lead to galactic warfare. At the head of this movement is Senator Palpatine, who gives a powerful speech about the dangers of Valorum?s inaction and apathy towards galactic security, motioning for a vote of no confidence. A majority vote forces Valorum?s resignation as Supreme Chancellor. The Republic is in tatters.

Act IV Scene 5 ? Boba Fett?s Escape

The Mandalorians are being overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of the clone army. The focused attacks and guerrilla tactics of the Mandalorian warriors incur massive clone trooper casualties, but it is merely a dent in their assault. A small group of warriors, including Boba Fett and their leader Mandalore are surrounded and cornered in the hangar bay of the Base Camp. The clone troopers severely wound Mandalore and he falls to the ground. Boba Fett quickly drags him onto the Slave One. He commandeers the ship, using cannon fire to take out as many clone troopers as he can before he flies to safety. When he reaches deep space, he tends to the dying Mandalore. Mandalore admits his failure and weakness to Boba, and leaves his armour to him, along with the honour of the Mandalorians. With the remainder of his strength, Mandalore takes a sample of his own blood from his right arm, and tells Boba to take it to the cloners on Kamino. Through his own blood, the honour of the Mandalorians can be preserved and restored. The Mandalorian presence is all but wiped out on the moon of Dxun.

Act IV Scene 6 ? Spanner in the Works: Part Two

They slip through the factory corridors, looking for a way to severely cripple production. They see the control room at the highest level to the right. Obi-wan instructs Anakin to wait with the Queen, and stealthily climbs up the wall. Anakin uses his mechanical knowledge to hotwire the circuitry of a factory line. Skilfully evading remote patrol droid sensors, Obi-wan climbs above the control room and lays face-down on the roof. He uses the Force to make a sound come from down the corridor (a la Episode IV), alerting the guards to leave and check it out. Obi-wan drops down, swings through the control room door and closes it behind him with the Force on the button. He pulls down the power levers and light switches (with sound effects reminiscent of Episode IV). The entire factory goes dark, until the infa-red backup lighting turns on, and the guards come rushing back down the corridors, scouring the entire factory for intruders. The Queen fires at the clone troopers over Anakin?s shoulder as he works away at the circuitry. The production line comes to a screeching halt as Anakin?s efforts prove successful. The troopers get closer and the Queen has trouble holding them off, so Anakin brandishes his lightsabre to deflect their blaster fire while they retreat down the corridor. Obi-wan notices a panel of commlinks to other factories before he leaves the control room. As clone troopers are blasting the door, Obi-wan brandishes his lightsabre, destroys the control panel, and pushes it through the opposing wall. He cuts a hole through the wall and flips downward, as blaster fire reflects off his lightsabre. The factory?s infa-red lighting is flashing on and off, the alarm is sounding, with blaster fire erupting on all sides. Obi-wan yells out to Anakin that it?s time to leave. Anakin heartily agrees?

Act IV Scene 7 ? Kamino?s Doorstep

Boba Fett flies the Slave One to Kamino. He drags Mandalore?s body off the landing platform in the monsoon rain. He leaves his body at the facility entrance, with his arms folded on his chest, holding the vial of blood. He runs back to the Slave One, and flies away, as a Kaminoan walks outside, inspects the body, then looks at the Slave One flying away. The Kaminoan gestures two other Kaminoans to carry the body away?

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Act V Scene 1 ? Bad News

Grievous slams his fist on the table when he receives word about the factory?s destruction. He sends his messengers away, and bows before the holotransmitter as it receives the image of a dark, cloaked figure ? Darth Sidious. Grievous informs Sidious that the Jedi have destroyed one of his cloning facilities. He assures his master that it was only a minor setback and that troop production will continue as planned. Grievous informs Sidious of a tracking device planted by his troops on the Jedi starfighters and asks if he should dispatch some fighters to pursue them. Sidious still has plans for them, so he tells Grievous that no action will be necessary.

Act V Scene 2 ? Escape from Onderon/ Surprise Attack

They run out to the canyon where they landed, Anakin leading the Queen by the hand. Luckily, the squad that was inspecting their starfighters ran back to the factory to find the intruders. The Queen flies with Anakin as the two Jedi leave for Coruscant. Tower cannons and clone troopers fire at them from behind as they leave the atmosphere?

Obi-wan contacts the Jedi Council via commlink to report that they have rescued the Queen and destroyed one of the underground cloning facilities. Yoda inquires as to why Obi-wan said ?one of? the facilities and Obi-wan replies that there are others?

Once they are satisfied that they?re out of danger, Anakin and Amidala get to know each other on the starfighter through a cocky and funny exchange. Anakin continually teases her about her majesty and she starts to feel attraction for him. She tells him to call her Padm?, thanks him for rescuing her, and pecks him on the cheek. Anakin blushes. All of a sudden, the hull starts taking hits from cannon fire. Boba Fett, recognising a Jedi starfighter, fires upon Anakin from the Slave One. Anakin pulls an impressive evasive manoeuvre to get out of the Slave One?s line of fire, while Obi-wan doubles back and fires at its right wing. Boba Fett crash-lands his craft in the Dune Sea of Tatooine. Anakin asks Obi-wan where that ship came from, and Obi-wan, puzzled, says that he barely even saw it, but he thinks it came from Kamino. Anakin notices all the dropships from neighbouring systems heading for Dxun. Amidala is anxious about having left her home planet and is concerned for the safety of her people?

Act V Scene 3 ? The Tomb of Freedon Nadd: Part One

Back on Dxun, the Jedi force, led by Khameir Sarin, run through the grasslands of Dxun, cutting through Mandalorian soldiers on the way. Blaster fire is erupting in the distance as the battle for Dxun continues. They keep running through the grasslands and stop in the middle of the clearing. In the distance they can see a monolith ? the tomb of Freedon Nadd. Khameir leads them onward.

Act V Scene 4 ? Mission Completed

Obi-wan, Anakin, and Padm? arrive on Coruscant, where Yoda and Mace Windu is waiting for them. They express their relief at the Queen?s safety and congratulate the Jedi on a successful mission. Anakin lets the adulation go to his head a little, but Obi-wan tells him to curb his excitement with humility. Obi-wan asks Master Windu if the Council has informed the Senate of Onderon?s cloning capabilities. Windu says that the Senate is gripped with panic as it is, and he is concerned how they will react to such information. Yoda concurs with Mace on this point, and says that the Senate is not ready for this information. He expresses his concern that something far greater is at work here; something far more sinister than Grievous and his clone armies?

Act V Scene 5 ? The Tomb of Freedon Nadd: Part Two

The Jedi on Dxun run up the stairs to the entrance of the tomb. Standing at the entrance, one of the Jedi Knights says he can feel great power coming from within the walls. Another Jedi asks what this place is. Khameir says it?s a tomb as he opens the entrance. It?s extremely dark inside. The Jedi enter cautiously with a sense of awe?

Act V Scene 6 ? Palpatine?s Election

Rabble continues in the Senate following Valorum's resignation. A potential candidate stands up and proposes that surely the Jedi are capable of maintaining peace in the galaxy. This does not satisfy most of the Senators and the rabble continues. Senator Palpatine rises and claims that the galaxy is no longer safe, and that the Jedi alone will not be enough to defend the Republic from this new Separatist threat. If the Separatist army can overwhelm the mighty Mandalorians, who can stop them? He argues that the Republic must remain ever-vigilant, lest it fall into ineffectiveness and apathy. He adds that if he is elected as Supreme Chancellor, he will increase the Republic's military expenditure, and its military presence on its borders. He says that the Republic will not be bullied, nor will it fall to inaction. He receives a standing ovation and thunderous applause. After being elected Supreme Chancellor, Palpatine gives a moving speech about democracy and freedom for the galaxy.

Act V Scene 7 ? Boba?s Worth

Young Boba Fett regains consciousness lying on the deck of the Slave One. He hobbles towards the loading ramp, where sand is blowing around. He walks outside and immediately notices the sand dunes surrounding him. Then he hears a strange, savage war cry. When his vision unblurs, he can see a whole tribe of Tusken Raiders surrounding him, raising their gaffi sticks above their heads. Boba immediately springs into action, performing an army roll and shooting one of them with his blaster. One of the sand-people strikes on either side of him as he rolls sideways in the opposite direction. Boba shoots a grappling hook at him, which coils around him, then swings him like an olympic hammer, knocking over other sand-people. He activates his rocket pack to lunge at the leader and tackles him to the ground. He promptly knocks him out with his wrist blade. An entire tribe of sand-people lie scattered at his feet. Laughter erupts from over the sand dunes as Jabba the Hutt, accompanied by his Gamorrean Guard, hovers towards him. This Mandalorian is Jabba?s kind of scum: fearless and inventive?

END OF EPISODE

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Andy

It's good, but... Hmm... still not how I would have liked it.

Qui-Gon was cool. :p

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It's good, but... Hmm... still not how I would have liked it.

Qui-Gon was cool. :p

Qui-Gon was well-portrayed by Liam Neeson, but the fact remains that he was extraneous. The main aim of this was to be as faithful to the OT as possible.

Apart from Qui-Gon, how would you have liked it?

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Andy

I thought of doing my own re-write. It would have involved Maul being non-existant, and Dooku being introduced in EpI. Qui-Gon could die later, perhaps at the hands of Dooku in EpII or III, so that it would have more of an effect on Anakin.

I probably would have given Mace Windu more action, and left Yoda as the wise old being that we know from the OT, but still have Mace killed by Anakin & Sidious.

I'd have to think about the other details more. Hmm.

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Ender

I would have changed it so Mace lived, and taught Luke either with Obi-Wan or without him, so Luke could have kicked some Empy ass with Vaapad. :p

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Tsl

Let's just replace Dooku with Maul and keep Qui Gon around until at least Episode II.

Oh, and absolutely no Gungans!

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Andy

But we need gungans! They are the target for our fan-ish rage when things haven't gone as we like. :p

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Ender

Okay, so we keep the Gungans, but they get wiped out by the droid army at the end of the movie, and then Mace and Yoda beat the sith out of the rest of the droids. :p

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The Red Baron

If you read my Episode II, you will find that Khameir Sarin IS Darth Maul incognito. I merged the characters of Dooku and Maul into one.

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Andy

Should have called him Dooku though. :p

Better than that Khameir Sarin name.

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The Red Baron

I used it because apparently Khameir Sarin was Darth Maul's name before he became a Sith. At least, according to some EU sources. I guess it really is irrelevant at the end of the day, given that I'm picking and choosing with everything outside of the OT.

Edited by theredbaron

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Andy

I used it because apparently Khameir Sarin was Darth Maul's name before he became a Sith. At least, according to some EU sources. I guess it really is irrelevant at the end of the day, given that I'm picking and choosing with everything outside of the OT.

Well, Khameir Sarin has never been (to my knowledge) published in any official canonical sources (eg: Essential Guides, StarWars.com, etc.) And it's most notable appearance is on SuperShadow.com ;)

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Chickenman

I used it because apparently Khameir Sarin was Darth Maul's name before he became a Sith. At least, according to some EU sources. I guess it really is irrelevant at the end of the day, given that I'm picking and choosing with everything outside of the OT.

Well, Khameir Sarin has never been (to my knowledge) published in any official canonical sources (eg: Essential Guides, StarWars.com, etc.) And it's most notable appearance is on SuperShadow.com ;)

SuperShadow is a lying sack of sith. And he's definitly not an EU source.

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The Red Baron

Yeah, I discovered this myself a week or so ago. And given my absolute hatred for all things Supershadow, I KNOW I have to change it. But I don't know what...

I think the name 'Count Dooku' sounds stupid. If I make him Count Dooku, I may as well make him 'Darth Tyrannus' as well.

I want to gauge some opinions here...should I make up another name entirely and keep him as Darth Maul, or should I simply make him Count Dooku/ Darth Tyrannus?

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