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Chickenman

Solo Bunch

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Chickenman

Here's my fanfic about the Solo Family after a little...accident during Dark Empire. I made the first one in about an hour, so these should be fairly frequent.

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Chickenman

*The final battle against the Resurected Emperor. The Emperor is mortally wounded and so is Emparjaytoris Brand. The Emperor shoots his spirit at Leia, attempting to possess baby Anakin, still in her womb. Emparjaytoris jumps to intercept the spirit?and completley misses. The Emperor suceeds.*

Brand: Well, so much for a hero?s death. *dies*

*Pause*

Han: Well, that was freaky. Anyone up for nachos?

Everyone: Me!

To Brady Bunch theme song:

This is the story...of a possessed baby!

Who was taken over by the evil emperor palpatine!

Now he wants to take over the universe, just like other Sith Lords

The show this is making fun of made me hurl!

Til the one day that the baby met 3PO,

And we knew that it was much more than a hunch,

That this is gonna be one hectic family,

That?s the way we all became the Solo Bunch!

The Solo Bunch!

The Solo Bunch!

That?s the way?we became the Solo Bunch

Three years later:

3PO: Now Master Anakin, I must insist that you take your nap.

Anakin: Shut up slave! When I rule the galaxy your going straight to the scrap heep.

3PO: Oh, you kids and your imagination!

Anakin: Imagination! It?s me, the evilest piece of scum in the universe! Palpatine!

3PO: *chuckles*

Anakin: Feel the power of the Dark Side! *Static electricity shoots from Anakin?s fingertips, stopping right in front of 3PO*

3PO: *Countinues chuckling*

Anakin: *Wails*

Han: Leia, I just got an idea, what do you say we take the kids down to the holographic zoo today?

Leia: Sure, let?s go out into a public place where assains, terrorists, imperials and bounty hunters will have perfect access to us.

Han: I don?t see a problem.

Leia: *sighs* Let?s at least travel in disguise, please?

Later:

*family is dressed up like Ku Klux Klan*

Leia: This isn?t what I had in mind.

Han: Don?t worry, just don?t insult anyone.

Leia: I don?t care how people feel, I just don?t want to hurt my chances at reelection.

*Displays tell how the extinct animal died out*

Animal#1: I died because of deforestation

Animal#2: I died because people kept hunting me.

Animal#3: @#$%$#@#$@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Anakin is studying one animal in particular*

Animal: My species died when our planet spun out of its orbit and entered a new Ice Age. Thanks to a corrupt and stupid Old Republic, the citizens and fauna were never relocated and we died a brutal death brought on by frostbite.

*Anakin seems to be thinking*

Anakin: I?ve got it! I will take over the mirror facilities and plunge Coruscant into a new ice age! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Jacen: Mom! Anakin?s plotting again!

Later, back at the Solo Home:

*Anakin is online*

Jaina: Are you hacking ebay to get free weapons of mass destruction again?

Anakin: Those gungans had it coming to them. But to answer your first question, no, I?m dowloading the schematics for the orbital mirrors above Coruscant. You and Jacen will act as my dimwitted henchmen as we take them over and plunge Coruscant into another ice age.

Jaina: Is that legal?

Anakin: No, but I have the funds to get O.J. Simpson?s lawyer.

Jaina: Well, as long as we get away with it.

Anakin: Allright, so we sneak onto the shuttle and take over the station with these. *holds up a blaster shaped like an AK-47*

Jacen: Where?d you get those?

Anakin: He preferred we not use names.

Jaina: What?s the clip capacity?

Anakin: Er, I don?t know.

Jaina: You don?t know? What kind of commando leader are you? You should intimatly know your weapon inside out.

*Anakin unloads a clip on 3PO*

Anakin: 32 rounds. Any other questions?

Jacen: Can I go potty?

Anaking: *sighs* Sure, just make it quick.

*Anakin is trying to get passage onto a shuttle to take them to the mirror*

Shuttle Pilot: Sorry, but I can't just take three little todlers onto into orbit without their parents' permission!

Anakin: Feel the power of the Dark Side!

*tries to choke pilot with the force*

Pilot: Wow, my throat feels a little tight.

Anakin: *Thinking quickly* Umm, I saw a cough drop outside of the shuttle somewhere.

Pilot:Oh? I'll be right back

*Anakin and the twins get inside, Anakin locks the door*

Pilot: You babies can't fly that ship! We're not insured!

*Runs to a hidden door right above the engines*

*Engines turn on*

*Pilot's body is burnt to a crisp.*

Traffic Control: What's the docking code?

Anakin: *waving hand* You don't need the docking code.

Traffic Control: Sure I do, what do you think you are? Some kind of Jedi, waving your hand around like that?

Anakin: Actually, I'm the evil spirit of Emperor Palpatine, trapped in the body of a three year old boy.

Traffic Control: Yeah right! If I had a nickle for everytime I...GAH!!!!!

*Anakin goes to back of shuttle where Jaina and Jacen are playing*

Jaina: Did they let us in?

Anakin: Not at first, but I got them to see the light.

Jacen: What light?

Anakin: The explosive...thermal detonator kind.

Jacen: Oh...

*After a brief shoot out that I'm too lazy and uncreative to write...*

Jacen: What?s this sensation I?m feeling?

Anakin: It?s called evil. Trust it. It will be your friend.

Jacen: Oh. Okay. I?m going to go play on the See-Saw now.

Anakin: Sure?wait, what See-Saw? *Turns around* No! That?s the self destruct lever!

BOOM!!!!!!!

Later:

Jacen: Well they shouldn?t have made it look like a See-Saw

Anakin: Shaddup!

Edited by Chickenman

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Andy

:rofl:

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Radioactive Isotope

:rofl: :rofl::rofl: :rofl:

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Ender

:rofl: :lol: That's awesome

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Princess

Funny

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Chickenman

I think I'm going to add a few new scenes to the last one and after that, continue with the series.

Every one of my friends that I told about this fanfic gave me a dirty look. :cry:

Edited by Chickenman, Prophet of Doom and Other Assorted Bad Things

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Radioactive Isotope

they're just jealous of your funnyness. ;)

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Roethlisberger

:rofl: :rofl:

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Chickenman

Thanks everyone.

Firelfly-Plus the fact that they got none of the jokes.

Allright, I added two new scenes to the old one. Second one should be up soon.

After state testing today I jotted down a synopsis of 16 more episodes, so this might be a long series... :cool:

Edited by Chickenman, Prophet of Doom and Other Assorted Bad Things

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Chickenman

Next one, can't promise it'll be as good as the first, and it's shorter, but I think I put a couple good lines and unique situations.

Episode 2:

Leia: Han, I think we need to be more careful about our kids. I mean, Anakin almost brought Coruscant to an ice age, and then the stolen SCUD warheads, and that?s not even mentioning the gungan incident.

Han: I agree with Anakin, those gungans had it coming.

Leia: Look, just because they screwed up Episode 1 doesn?t mean we should discriminate against them.

Han: Your joking right?

Leia: No, just practicing my lying, the elections are coming up remember?

Han: Oh yeah.

Leia: Anyway, that?s why I?ve unrolled Anakin and the twins in day care.

Han: They don?t need daycare, they just need?yeah I guess that would be a good idea.

Later:

Leia: Jacen, Jaina, Anakin? Come meet your new teacher

Anakin: Is this one combustible too?

*Teacher gets horrified look in her eyes*

Leia: Uhh?.kids and their imaginations, huh? Anyway, Ani?s kind of?high maintenance.

Anakin: Woman, you call me ?Annie? one more time, you?ll be looking for your lower half.

Leia: Kids these days! Anyway, got to go, vote for me!

*Leaves*

Anakin: *turning to teacher* So, where are the disruptor rifles?

Teacher: My, you are a kidder aren?t you.

Anakin: Actually I detest humor on all levels?actually, Adam Sandler?s pretty good, but aside from that-

Teacher: Why don?t you play with your classmates?

Later:

Tommy: So, what do you want to do?

Joey: I know! I know! Let?s play ?Rebels and Imperials!?

Kids: Yay!

Anakin: Allright, I will be the evil Emperor Palpatine! I will crush you all! MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Joey: Actually, Tommy is the Emperor.

Anakin: No, actually, I am the Emperor, the real one, I sent my spirit into the body of this three year old.

Tommy: Why?

Anakin: Uh?well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Joey: Wow, this guy is really into this game.

Tommy: Tell me about it! Can?t he just pretend?

*Anakin apears thoughtful, then gets an insidious grin on his face.*

Anakin: Let me show you some of my favorite games!

*Anakin divides up the children into two teams*

Anakin:Okay, one team is the ?Jedi.? The other team is the ?Sith? The Jedi lean on that wall over there. The Sith takes these extrmeley hard yet incredibly bouncy balls, and throw them at the Jedi.

Jedi: When do we get our turn?

Anakin: You don?t. Ready? Go!

*Sith throw the balls, every single one misses the Jedi and bounces right back, nailing the Sith*

*Anakin smacks his head with his hand*

Anakin: This one is called ?Endor.? *directs Jedi to a corner filled with Teddy Bears*

Anakin: Those are the evil rebels and their primitive yet still evil friends, the Ewoks. You know what to do.

Sith: *Battle cry much like the Dean?s Iowa Yell*

Anakin: (to himself) Yes!

*Kids play with Teddy Bears*

Anakin: NO!

*Smacks head again, this time, so hard that he falls over*

Anakin: Okay, okay, we?ll play rebels and imperials, but this time, I?m Emperor!

Kids: Okay, if you say so. OVERTHROW THE EMPEROR!!!!!!!!! *Kids pick up Anakin and walk steadily walk to a balcony, high above the surface of Coruscant*

Anakin: No! No! Tommy can be Emperor! NO!!!!!

*Kids throw him off balcony*

Anakin: NO!!!!! THIS IS JUST LIKE EPISODE VI!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joey: *shrugs* Well, at least he didn?t have to hit himself this time.

Later:

Teacher: So, how did you like your first day of Day Care?

Anakin: I hate the kids and have come to hate you too. When I reclaim my rightful posistion on top of the Imperial Throne, I?m going to send a TIE Fighter through your window.

Teacher: (to herself) I could have gone to college, but noooo?.

Edited by Chickenman

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Roethlisberger

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

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tenelfan14

:D OMG!! LOL!!!

anikan and dodge ball! :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

The teacher @ end was classic! :D

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Radioactive Isotope

:rofl: :rofl:

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Chickenman

Wow, didn't expect it to be that good.

*Finds out everyone is lying*

O...that explains it. ;)

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Chickenman

U guys, I'm going to take a break. I've had to cancel two episodes I wanted to write because one wasn't consistent with the timeline, (I thought it was at the time) And the other...just isn't funny. So I'm taking a break. I'll collect my thoughts and come up with an even better episode. Until then, feel free to read the previous two, and if you have any feedback, suggestions etc. just PM me.

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tenelfan14

good ole writers block

*sigh* yep. we go back a long ways....

lol. thats okay chikenman. i don't hold it against ya

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Andy

I do though, :twisted:

Juuuuust kidding. :D

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Chickenman

:lol:

Sorry, normally wouldn't laugh out loud there, just kind of smirk, but I haven't been getting enough oxygen for the past minute...imitating the lead singer of Linkin Park by preteding to yell into my cupped hands, enclosed over a pretend microphone. *takes deep breaths*

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Chickenman

Umm....sorry if you were hurt by the stupidity of the last post.

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tenelfan14

naw. you didn't hurt me. :D

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Chickenman

Allright! I've passed my writer's block and have an idea on how to make the series even better. I just have to write down the actual stories.

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tenelfan14

Well, get to writing already! :mad: j/k :p :roll:

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Chickenman

Was almost done with the 3rd when my pc's hardrive fried.

Gonna have to start over, but I know what I'm writing this time.

One thing is for sure: Once it's released, I can never go to NY again.

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