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Another Of My Stories "a Change In Plans"

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I'm quite interested in feedback from other starwars fans.

A Change in Plans

The beat up old freighter began to make its planetfall. It swept through the atmospheric clouds with a lack of grace that was understandable for the blocky ship. Its repulsors kicked in as it began to cut its speed and weave into a traffic lane around the planet?s equator. Gazing out one of the viewports was a tall man with dark hair and a body build that let on to his athleticism. Wsart Gylirot watched, from inside his quarters, the lights of Ord Mantell?s main city appear below their ship. They grew from a tiny point of light to a whole sprawl of ambient glow.

His mind was elsewhere, however, as he began to ponder his upcoming mission. Being a member of the Republic?s Special Operative Troops, he had undertaken many tasks and objectives. Which he always accomplished. With his eyes still gazing outside the viewport, he could now make out the docking bay complex. It sat just in of the shoreline, where the ocean seemed illuminated from the city?s glow. He reached over into his mission supplies on his desk and pulled out a datacard.

The mission briefing that his superior had put together was on this disk. Due to security precautions he was not allowed to view his mission or mission objectives until they made it to Ord Mantell. He knew nothing of his mission, and wondered for a moment why the Republic needed a trooper of his expertise in this gambling and entertainment based world.

?Well let?s see what this is all about,? he said to himself plaintively. He pulled his datapad from underneath his bunk and put the card into its input slot. Lying back against his bunk, he sat the datapad on his lap and brought up his briefing video. Unfortunately for him, he was not privy to have a holoprojector in his quarters, so he had to watch the flat image. He had always preferred holos.

The face of General Oarin popped up on his screen. General Oarin worked in intelligence, which reinforced the secrecy of this mission in Wsart?s mind. ?Lieutenant Gylirot, as you receive this briefing you are either on Ord Mantell, or landing,? Oarin continued in a monotone voice. ?Upon your departure from the spaceport, you need to use your means to get to the northern part of the city. It will be past the outskirts, but you should be able to find a large compound. This compound should resemble an Imperial garrison base. Infiltrating it will not be easy, nor will accomplishing this mission. Your main objective is to kill this man.?

A picture of a human, around his forties with light skin and dark hair popped up on the datapad screen along side the vid. ?The mark is a local self-proclaimed warlord and all around nasty guy,? Oarin proceeded with the briefing. ?He has recently become more than a petty crime boss. His earnings from the various casinos on world and off, that he owns, have been making their way into the hands of Thrawn?s military. Achieve your objective at all costs, and if you survive, rendezvous back at the docking bay and head back home. Included on this disk is a complete dossier on your mark, as well as identification info you can plug into your ID scanner so you can get him easier. May the Force be with you, Lieutenant.?

The picture of the general faded out and Wsart studied the picture and dossier. The man was named Loodooj Redinout. Moments later the ship shuddered as it landed.

?Wsart, we?ll handle the security and customs while you get ready. We?ll see you back here, alright?? the voice of the undercover freighter?s captain came over the ships intercom.

?You can count on it,? the trooper replied grimly. He began to gather his gear. He took a quick look over his new trooper suit. The suits that his Special Operative division were issued resembled those worn by the Mandalorian warriors in the time of the Old Republic. His new one was basically the same except that by taking off a few armor plates, it looked like something a common spacer would wear. Another welcome addition to this suit was the materials it was made with, had the ability to change their color to a solid black. So with his suit and armor, he could easily blend into the shadows.

He pulled his suit on and proceeded to place his armor and armaments into a basic travel suitcase. He stopped when he lifted his helmet from his quarter?s hold. This too had a new black color, and he reached down to his datapad and linked the two together. A beep sounded almost immediately, informing him that the ID scanner had loaded the info on the mark. This wasn?t the first times he?d been sent on a manhunt, and he?d become quite adept at them. I guess if the military ever gets rid of me, I could make a nice little living as a bounty hunter. He chuckled to himself.

He had little trouble finding a taxi speeder once outside the spaceport. He climbed right in the back of the covered landspeeder, and ordered the pilot to take him north. Sitting there quietly, he kept one arm over his suitcase protectively. The speeder made its way through the winding pathways between rows upon rows of casinos, cantinas and certain risqu? entertainment clubs. On the sides of the streets and in overhead walkways, spacers of both the respectable type and the kind that seemed to shy from civilized worlds, made their ways about in a leisurely fashion.

It took several minutes to make it through the extravagant, glowing entertainment district, to the run-down outskirts of the city. When Wsart felt he was far enough north, he asked the taxi pilot to stop the speeder.

Wsart exited the landspeeder and handed some credit chips to the pilot. ?This is a pretty rough part of town for a tourist like you,? the pilot warned him.

?I think I?ll make it,? Wsart commented, glaring down at the pilot.

?Hey, I was just tryin? to give you some advice.?

?Your advice proved quite unnecessary, and now so are you. Leave,? the aggravated look in Wsart? eyes shut the pilot up immediately. The speeder sped off in haste.

Wsart watched as it flew behind a building and then looked around at the area he was currently in. A street lay in front of him, lined with abandoned storefronts and a few rough looking clubs. The music from the clubs was easily heard in the still night air. Following the street as it headed north, Wsart passed the rowdy bars and small hoards of smugglers, pirates, and other scoundrels. A scantily clad Twilek girl tried to wave him into the club she was standing in front of, but he just ignored her.

As he continued on his way, he noticed a couple of slightly intoxicated men take notice to him. One was a grimy Gran; the other was an equally filthy human. Both were of a large stature. They followed Wsart up the street, away from the bustling scene behind them. Wsart glanced back casually to check that they were still there. Once out of hearing range of most of the beings back at the cantinas, he ducked into an alleyway between two buildings. He stood there waiting calmly. Moments later, the pair came into the opening.

The human grinned maliciously at Wsart. ?What?s in that suitcase of yours? Perhaps something that belongs to us?? The two laughed.

?Would you like me to check for you? Because I don?t think that I do have anything of yours,? he stated with a rye smirk on his face.

?Well, looks like we?ve got a problem here,? the human said looking at his Gran accomplice. The human moved closer, up in Wsart?s face, and the stench of Corellian whiskey overpowered his olfactory senses.

?Looks like you do.? Wsart swung a high roundhouse kick into the side of the human?s head. The Gran stood there shocked as the Republic troop pivoted and kicked his other foot into the Gran?s belly. A gasp of air came out of him and he leaned forward. An elbow then came down on the back of his head, dropping him to his knees. The other human scramble to get up and assail Wsart, but despite his size he was no match for the trained soldier.

Wsart quickly swept the legs of the assailant, and spun around to grab a handful of his greasy hair. Thrusting his hand hard, Wsart, made contact with spinal column of the human. A sickening crack sounded and the human?s body went limp. The Gran came at him again, and Wsart made a forceful kick at the beings kneecap. It produced a loud snap as the leg bent backwards and caused the Gran to fall on his face. The four eyes of the Gran bulged out of their eyestalks, as Wsart stomped hard on the Gran?s soft skull, collapsing it completely.

He stepped over the bodies and their pooling blood, and grabbed his suitcase. He exited the alley and was on his way once more.

Finding the palace itself was not a difficult task. After walking for a few hours, through a flat tree-filled plain under the total darkness of a cloudy night, a hill rose up in front of him. Large black walls protruded from the side of the hill. Dug into the side of the hill, the palace compound was an imposing site. The black walls themselves stood some twenty meters, and towers housing weapon turrets raised another 5 meters above the walls.

Wsart was currently directly south of the compound, and despite the tree cover was still able to see the whole of the palace. Spotlights lazily scanned the perimeter of the compound. The only other lights came from within the walls. He still had about a kilometer to walk to the building, so he continued on. Within about one hundred kilometers, the trees abruptly ended.

Using his macrobinocular-equipped helmet viewplate, Wsart scanned the walls defenses. The front seemed heavily armed; he decided to follow his way along the tree line east of the complex up the hill. This would allow him to see the rest of the building, since he now sat below it. He trekked up the hill and scanned the walls once more.

Ah, this side looks the one. He thought to himself, after observing less weaponry and guards patrolling the wall tops. I better take that guard out first.

A lone guard stood in the northeast corner of the square walls. He was out of sight of the other guards on watch, so Wsart pulled out his projectile sniper rifle components. He quickly assembled the weapon and took aim.

Through his scope, he could see the man?s head ripped apart, by the slug he fired, in a spray of blood. In a bit of luck, the body tumbled over the wall onto the outside of the compound.

In his all-black armor and suit, Wsart made his way up to the wall. Dodging spotlights on the way. Rather than use his jetpack to overcome the wall, he fired a grappling hook out of the top of his jetpack. A minute later, he was on the top of the wall.

All was clear, as he looked around, no alarms, no guards rushing at him. He began to creep along the walls in the shadows, as he tried to find a turbolift down.

He found a lift and took it down to what appeared to be the guard?s locker room. With both of his blaster pistols drawn he crept around the room checking for any presences. The room was empty. In his haste, however, he forgot one very important detail: he didn?t check for security cameras.

?Sir, take a look at this,? a young security officer called his superior over to take a look at the holovid that one of the compound?s cameras was displaying. The officer sat at a terminal in the security monitoring post, and the security chief came down from his desk up on a higher level that the monitoring pit.

The holo showed a man with heavy armor and gear, in all black, sneaking through the security force locker room. He was armed too, with at least two blaster pistols drawn.

?I?ll send out a silent alarm to all forces, and gather some men to take him out,? the security chief stated complacently. ?We should try to apprehend this fiend, although, find out his motives. Can you get all that information to the guards??

?Yes sir,? the officer answered firmly. ?I?ll make sure to encode, incase he has a com scanner.?

?Good,? the chief whirled around to stare down two guards standing by the door. ?Set your blasters for stun and follow me.? The chief himself reached down to his holstered blaster, and changed its setting. He hit the door?s activation panel and ran out into the hall, his two guards flanking him.

I suppose it would make this a bit easier if I put on a security uniform. I could blend right in. Wsart started opening the unlocked lockers, but with no luck. Maybe they have some laundry I could borrow. He looked around a bit and saw a hovercart filled with uniforms. Perfect.

But then, on the wall, something caught his eye. ?Blast!? he rushed over to the holocam disguised on the wall as a design. He smashed it with the butt of his blaster and began looking for more. After a couple more broken holocams, he knew he had to move quickly.

He hastily threw on a uniform, and stuffed his gear into a locker. A plan suddenly popped into his head. He busted out the screen on one of the ventilation duct openings and ran for a door out of the locker room. To his surprise a trio of men were rushing down the hall at him. He was dressed in the same red and blue uniform as them, he jumped out into the hall waving his arms.

?He went in here! The bounty hunter jumped in the air ducts, just as I was coming in,? Wsart yelled down the hallway feinting a sense of excitement.

?Alright, let?s get that scum!? a smile crept across the chief?s face. The three guards burst through the doorway opening, Wsart remained in the hall.

Once the trio was clear into the room, Wsart hurried down the hall. He decided to check for a computer terminal so that he could obtain blueprints for the facility. He went checking each door in the hall. Some were locked, but he didn?t have the time to spare so that he could break the lock codes. He came to the end of the hall, where it then turned ninety degrees left. So he continued down the new hallway. After checking a few doors, one of them opened up, to leave him facing another red and blue clad security man.

?What are you doing in here?? the man?s voice came at him angrily, as he glared from underneath his red helmet.

?There...um...we had a break-in. It?s a bounty hunter...I?m...on my way to Loodooj?s quarters, he needs more guards,? Wsart?s quick thinking was amazingly coming across as believable. He decided to continue his improvising. ?You should come with me, I think they need all the security they can get.?

?Yeah, I know about the hunter, but I was ordered to my post,? Wsart gave him a shocked stare. ?What?! Do you think this is more important than my post,? he paused for a minute and then continued with a sigh, before Wsart could answer. ?Yeah, yeah, of course it is!? The guard gathered his weapons and some other gear and rushed out into the hall. ?We head to his Excellency?s personal quarters??

?Yes, that?s what I was told,? the counterfeit guard answered to the real one. ?Why don?t you lead and I?ll flank you? The hunter?s in the air ducts somewhere, never know when he might pop out.?

?Good plan,? and with that comment they were on their way.

?So this is the ship?? a sleazy looking man said staring up at a beaten up old freighter.

?Yep,? his counterpart returned. ?Docking bay security saw a peculiar man sneak of this ship; dressed in all black and fitting the description of that vapin? bounty hunter.?

?Is there crew on the ship??

?Yep, pilot and a co-pilot. Both on the ship as we speak,? the man sneered, and drew his blaster carbine. It was a blaster that was standard issue for Loodooj?s henchmen.

The henchman had little trouble finding the ship of the bounty hunter who?d infiltrated Loodooj?s fortress about a half an hour ago. Most of Ord Mantell?s police and security forces were in Loodooj?s pockets. With a world this corrupt, information was very easy to come by, for the right price.

They moved quickly up the boarding ramp, and up into the cockpit. There, the two pilots sat checking over the ships systems. They never saw it coming.

The stench of ozone filled the cramped air of the ship, as the two henchmen stood over the bodies. Matching holes were burned into the back of their skulls. The bolts had mostly cauterized the wounds, but some blood still seeped from the gaping openings. A mass of gray matter and blood was all over the controls and viewscreen.

The cold-blooded henchmen shared a ruthless laugh, as one reached for the ships com unit. ?This is docking bay 127 West, requesting this ship be immediately impounded, as per orders of his exaltedness Loodooj Redinout.?

Moments later the ship was gone, leaving an empty docking bay.

Wsart and his accompanying guard trotted around a corner, in a hallway located in the place itself. They were approximately six stories up and on the same floor as Loodooj?s quarters. Wsart, still back a ways from his unwitting guide, could overhear some loud voices from up ahead. An entourage of men was exiting from a door. In the middle of the group, Wsart?s ID scanner identified a man as Loodooj.

?Sir, with this bounty hunter loose and our men unable to locate him, I feel that is in the best interest of your safety to vacate the premises,? a man holding a datapad informed. The man was dressed more as an aide than a security guard.

This was all the info Wsart needed. He checked his blaster to make sure it was on ?kill,? and drew one of his pistols from within his security guard tunic. A red bolt spat out of the end of his carbine, finding its mark and splitting Loodooj?s skull in a cloud of blood and smoke.

Wsart quickly started running backwards, toward the bend behind him. Blue stun bolts flew past, but it was difficult for the guards to hit him. He was firing rapidly and taking guards down, the blaster fire filled the hallway with smoke.

He attempted to dive behind the safety provided by the next hallway, when one of the bolts caught him square in the chest. He was tossed back against the wall, and everything went black.

The room he awoke in was all white; save for the gray door he laid facing. He was unable to remember much, just that he might have been in a firefight. That must?ve been what happened. How else would he have been brought down?

The door slid open and two large men in black uniforms entered. He wasn?t exactly in fighting shape at the moment, but the sight of them still didn?t intimidate him.

?Time for your interrogation, you bounty hunter scum,? the one on the left attempted a menacing sneer. The other tried the same as he reached out binders toward Wsart.

Unable to move as fast or well as normal, he still managed to hop to his feet and deliver a solid kick to the binder bearing guard. It caught him right in the throat. The guard dropped the binders and reached for his neck, gasping for air.

The second guard immediately dove for him. He stepped to the side, and threw a hard open fisted arm at the guard?s face. It caught him on the forehead, and snapped his neck back hard enough to paralyze him. The man fell to ground scream in pain and twitching. The other had already either passed out or died from asphyxiation.

The door to his cell was closed, but he figured he should silence the screaming, just in case. He tore a piece of the guard?s shirt off and tied it securely around his mouth.

?Now try to keep the noise down, okay?? Wsart answered. He grabbed a set of code keys off the guards uniform. ?Might need these, thanks.? He used one to open the cell door, an flee down the cellblock.

Running through the cellblock area, he soon came to another cellblock. This one had open barred cells instead of the closed wall room he?d been in. He noticed a few floating black orbs, that resembled Imperial interrogator droids. There was turbolift up ahead at the end of the hall, but before he made it he heard a voice.

?Help?sir, help me,? a sickly sounding female voice sounded from behind him. He turned around a saw a woman lying in a cell shaking. She would have been normally quite attractive, but she?d seen better days. She looked as though she?d been beaten severely.

He opened her cell door and lifted to her to her feet. He looked her over and asked, ?Can you make it out of here??

?I think so. I better try at least,? she managed a dry laugh, and coughed in the process.

?Well, let?s try than,? he supported most of her weight and the hurried to the lift. Inside the lift on the control panel, one of the buttons was marked ?hanger.? ?Guess we?ll need a ride out of here, huh?? he asked, mostly to himself.

The hangar was scene of chaos. Packing crates, and equipment were strewn about, and a few mechanics and guards wandered aimlessly attempting to loot items, now that their boss was dead. Wsart and the woman he?d liberated made their way to a space yacht. It wasn?t anything too fancy, as he was sure that the nicer ships had already been stolen, but it still looked spaceworthy.

They climbed up the boarding ramp, and he set her down in the navigator?s chair. ?Now lock down the ship when I leave, and wait for me. I?ve got to get some stuff, but I promise I?ll be back.? Although they?d only been with each other for a few minutes, and she?d hardly spoken, there was an undeniably bond forming between them. But that was nothing more than a distraction at the moment.

Exiting the ship, he found a small speeder, and started it up. He speed out the hangar door and headed toward the wall he?d scaled the night before. He set the speeder down on the wall top, near the turbolift down to the guard?s locker room. He retrieved his abandoned gear and made haste back to the hangar on the top floor of the palace. She opened the ship back up and he came aboard.

He powered the ship up, lifted off and fled the hangar. The ship took a heading south, and soon reached the docking bay that Wsart had arrived at. He brought it down closer to get a better look, because he could not believe what he was seeing: the landing pad was empty. He set the ship in a hover andfumbled through his gear.

?What?s the matter? What?s going on?? the woman asked him.

?My ship is gone. They left me.? he answered, as he learned that none of his equipment was able to hail or locate the ship.

?They? I thought all us bounty hunters operated alone,? she sound slightly confused.

?What?!? Wsart exclaimed in an angry tone. ?You think I?m a bounty hunter??

?Well the gear?and I overheard the guards last night?? she tried to explain, when Wsart cut her off.

?Wait, you also said: ?us bounty hunters???


?You?re a bounty hunter.? a bit of disgust hung in his voice. They sat there staring at each other. He suddenly had an insight. That?s all that I am. And now I?ve been deserted by the service to which I?ve devoted my life. He started to warm up to the idea. Maybe bounty hunting isn?t so bad after all. He held her gaze and smiled slyly. ?Do you need a partner??

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wow! It was a very interesting and gripping story! But, out of courtesy, I will give you some pointers.

1. Look for spelling errors, they can be distracting

2. Your sentences are a bit long; not run-ons but too detailed for one breath. If you shorten your sentences and let them flow, it will sound a lot better.

3. Mabey you should shorten your installements and leave cliffhangers to get the readers interested.

All in all it was a very good story!! :D

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alot of this was inspired by the video game bounty hunter ...

(shameless bump in order to get more feedback)

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