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Ana

A Tale Of Two Papers

Which essay is better-written?  

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Ana

Okay, this is a contest between GI and I on who is the better writer. For the purpose of this contest, I will post two essays here, one which is mine, one which is GI's. We'd very much apppreciate it if anyone with spare time and an eye for writing would read these and express their opinion. Please note that these were both written for school long before this contest arose, and are thusly very boring and informative and have nothing whatsoever to do with Star Wars. You have been warned.

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Ana

The Legacy of Lincoln

Abraham Lincoln, the sixteenth president of the United States of America, was a remarkably strong individual who led his country through a terrible Civil War that saw the deaths of more Americans than all other wars America has ever fought combined. Lincoln fought in the interest of keeping the U.S. from splitting into two separate countries, one that would have freedom for all men, and one where black people could be kept as slaves. And although he had personal antislavery sentiments, Lincoln kept his personal feelings on the issue of slavery in check in order to more fully devote himself to his duty as President to keep the nation united during its crisis. It is his legacy that we are still one country now, one hundred forty-three years after the war began, and that we as a nation strive towards the ultimate fulfillment of the words Jefferson wrote in the Declaration of Independence, ?All men are created equal.?

The Civil War is taught to primary school students as being fought in order to free the slaves. However, Abraham Lincoln was adamant, at least at the beginning of the war, that its purpose was the keep the Union together, and not to free the slaves. As he declared during the 1858 Illinois senatorial debates versus Stephen A. Douglas, ?A house divided against itself cannot stand.? Lincoln saw clearly that the issue of slavery was going to split the country in two, and he felt strongly that if the United States became two countries, both would fall to ruin. When he became president, and war did break out, Lincoln was put under pressure from all sides to deliver an act of legislation that would free the slaves. Lincoln, however, refused. As he wrote in his letter to Horace Greeley, ?My paramount object in this struggle is to save the Union, and is not either to save or to destroy slavery. If I could save the Union without freeing any slave I would do it, and if I could save it by freeing all the slaves I would do it; and if I could save it by freeing some and leaving others alone I would also do that?. I have here stated my purpose according to my view of official duty; and I intend no modification of my oft-expressed personal wish that all men everywhere should be free.? Lincoln, who had many times expressed his opinion of slavery being ?a moral, social, and political evil?(The Crisis of the Union, p.304), felt that as president, it was his duty to keep America united. He felt that although it was within his powers to act against slavery, that it would be an abuse of those powers to use his abilities simply for something that he personally wanted. Instead, he waited until the time was right, immediately following the North?s victory at Antietam, to issue the Emancipation Proclamation, which freed all slaves ?within any State or designated part of a State? in rebellion against the United States shall be then, thenceforward, and forever be free.? Because the states had already seceded, in the minds of their people, they were no longer part of the United States and therefore no longer under Lincoln?s jurisdiction, the Emancipation Proclamation did not affect them. However, it was a move in the direction of ending slavery, and that was what was important. Lincoln kept his personal wants and his official duty clearly separated until it was politically prudent to allow them to merge and become one.

By the end of 1864, it seemed inevitable that the North would win the war. And there were those in the North who wanted to burn and pillage the South, and who wanted to see Southerners suffer for their rebellion. General William Tecumseh Sherman became famous for his burning of Atlanta, and subsequent March to the Sea, where he and his men destroyed everything in their path. Lincoln, however, simply said, ?With malice toward none; with charity for all; with firmness in the right, as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in; to bind up the nation's wounds; to care for him who shall have borne the battle, and for his widow, and his orphan--to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace, among ourselves, and with all nations?(Lincoln?s Second Inaugural Address). Lincoln wanted the nation to heal back into a whole after the war, and not take on the roles of ?conqueror? and ?conquered?. He knew that such a relationship would only lead to more troubles later on, so instead he strove towards gently but firmly closing that door behind America, and moving forward to a new and unified future together. And despite the fact that he was assassinated only a week after the war ended and never was given a chance to set his plans for Reconstruction in place, some people remembered his sentiments and thus treated Southerners with dignity and respect. His desire for a peaceful ending to the war helped make that peace come true in the long run, and thus helped relations between the North and the South return to a comradely level in the aftermath of the war.

When, in 1776, Thomas Jefferson wrote ?All men are created equal? in the Declaration of Independence, he meant it as a philosophical ideal about mankind. In his 1863 Gettysburg Address, Lincoln took Jefferson?s words and transformed them into a new entity?not a lofty ideal, but a standard that Americans ought to endeavor to achieve. Lincoln wrote, ?This nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth?(Gettysburg Address). This idea that Lincoln presented was radical, but made sense to many people; it is now a fundamental moral for Americans. Because of what Lincoln said in the Gettysburg Address, ?Americans no longer understand the prologue of the Declaration as philosophical expression of natural rights, but rather take it to be a statement about the social and political conditions that ought to prevail?(Jefferson Lecture Notes). Lincoln helped us see what ?All men are created equal? could mean in the future, and allowed us to start working towards achievement of that standard.

Without Abraham Lincoln?s spectacular leadership, it is uncertain what state the U.S. would be in today. Perhaps we would be two separate countries, The United States and the Confederate States, perpetually distrustful of one another; perhaps we would be one country, but with terrible animosity between our two halves, never wholly healed. Abraham Lincoln helped us to be what we are today, and we are indebted to him for all he did for his country.

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Ana

Founding Fathers Bio: Richard Bassett

Richard Bassett was one of 5 delegates sent from Delaware. He was 42 years old when he attended the Constitutional convention. He owned the Bohemia Manor, an estate in Delaware, and later he purchased other estates in Dover, Delaware and in Wilmington, Delaware. He was home schooled by his guardians, but later studied law in Dover, Delaware and passed the bar test. He was a successful lawyer and planter. At the convention, he most likely represented the northern planters. Though he is a founding father, he did not make any significant contribution to the Constitution. He preferred, like many of the other delegates, to leave the task of changing the Constitution to others. At the end of the convention, he agreed with the Constitution and voted for it, making Delaware the first state to approve the new government.

When Richard Bassett was young, his father left the family, after which a relative raised the boy. The relative taught Richard at home, until Richard finally studied law at Dover, Delaware. Richard was a lawyer until the Revolutionary War. He led a group of Delaware cavalry militia and also served on the Delaware Council of Safety. After the convention, he served as a Senator for Delaware (1789-1793), and as the governor of Delaware (1799-1801) and then he retired to serve as a judge on the federal circuit until 1802, when the Jefferson administration passed a law abolishing his position. Before ending his Senate term, he helped draft the new Delaware constitution. He was also the first to vote to move the capital away from Pennsylvania and New York.

I believe that Richard Bassett was interested in helping the common man. Even before the convention he was helping people as a lawyer and by serving on the Council of Safety. In addition, he fought during the Revolutionary War, giving him experience in war time, and some sympathy for the people and more longing for a better government. If I had the same background as Richard Bassett did, I believe I would also want to help the common man. Like him, I would support a strong government and worry about the larger states and how to give the smaller states an equal voice in the new government. The term ?Founding Saints? could also be used to describe Bassett. Though he was not the most popular or the most famous, he was smart and wished to help the people of the newly formed United States of America.

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Pandora

I don't have the time right now, because i have to run off to work in a few minutes, but I promise I will look them over.

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chozen

The later is Gi's? Just guessing..

No offence to the second writer, but; The first is by far the better essay.

Why don't you send creative writing instead..

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Ana

No offence to the second writer, but; The second is by far the better essay.

Huh? :???:

Why don't you send creative writing instead..

Because we're both too busy/lazy to do any creative writing, so we just have stuff from school.

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chozen

hmm.. you don't do creative writing at school? strange..

Is Gi the second?

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Ana

The point of this whole thing is for you to choose the better writer not knowing which one of us wrote which, so I'm not saying yet. :p

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GI_Admiral

We're trying to find out who the better writer is...I think it's Ana...and She thinks its me...I would tell you who is winning but it would give away the essay writer.

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Tsl

The first essay is more well written. The writing seemed to flow more, and the essay just seemed to use a better command of the language in general.

The second essay was good as well, only the sentence structure, especially at the beginning, seemed a little choppy and could have used more varience.

Only.....slavery was really a very small part (sadly enough) of the Civil War. It was mostly over federal versus state controlled government and tariffs. :p ;)

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Ender

Tsl has a point... it wasnt really about slavery that much.

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Ana

Both essays were written to the standards set by our respective teachers. If the essay tends to concentrate on a particular aspect, then that is because that was what was required by the teacher in order to not fail.

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GI_Admiral

lol that's not an excuse for why my essay is bad...

this is obviously the people saying that Ana's essay is better...

Hurrah I won!!!!!!!!

:kneel:

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Tsl

Both essays were written to the standards set by our respective teachers. If the essay tends to concentrate on a particular aspect, then that is because that was what was required by the teacher in order to not fail.

lol, Don't worry about it. I wasn't figureing that into my assessment of the writing. It was just a random comment. Always bugged me how history is twisted in schools.

Hence all the winks and tongue and junk at the end :p ;)

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chozen

The point of this whole thing is for you to choose the better writer not knowing which one of us wrote which, so I'm not saying yet. 

pfft.. you've already given it away.. so pfft

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CorSec

First one flows better, as mentioned above. *shrugs* Just seems to be of a higher standard overall.

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GI_Admiral

Wait wait wait...who was the 2nd person to vote for the 2nd one?!

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chozen

Well I'm guessing who ever it was wanted you to lose the bet. To make a fool out of yourself.. I'm guessing CorSec.

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