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tenelfan14

Come Clean--chapter 5: Feel The Thunder--5/7/04

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tenelfan14

My new fanfic based off of Hilary Duffs song, "Come Clean" It was origionally going to be calledBlinded By the Dark, but when i heard this song, I went for this title.

Now, I know what you guys are probably thinking: "Oh no, another songfic. Wrong! It's a full length fic! Yay!

okay:

Title:Come Clean

Author: None other than me

Rating:pG

Genre:Humor/Romance/Angst/Drama/Action/Adventure

Time Setting:4 years after NJO

Prologue

The wind, the trees, all were encompased in a sort of fabricated light.

Jacen Solo stood in the middle of that light, doing nothing but living, breathing, being.

His chocolate locks ruffled in the wind, but he was not fazed. Deep in meditation, he sought out the answer.

He had always been inquisitve, and had spent nearly half of his life in retrospect. Yet, he still didn't feel whole.

Jacen spent so much time dwelling in the prescence of the Force, that he hadn't eaten in days. His hunger needed to be quenched, yet it kept on growing. You could even say he was starving. Not physicly, but emotionally, mentally. And spiritually.

The hole inside of his soul grew larger with each passing day. Every breath he breathed suffocated his heart.

What am I missing?

Sighing, the twenty-five year old gave up. Opening his eyes, Jacen took in the sites around him. Borleias had had a major mop-up after the war, and his sister Jaina was living there now, while he and his mother and father visited.

Jaina...always strong, forever resilient Jaina was burdened-no laden-with her fist unborn child.

"Hey Jasa," She said, sitting down beside him. Her rich hair was hanging down to her waist, and her eyes held joy that spilled over.

"Hey sis." He kissed her cheek. Even with the slight swell of her belly she looked radiant, and Jacen knew that Jagged Fel was one of the luckiest men in the galaxy.

She handed him a plate. "You might want to eat something."

Jacen accepted it, but did not make a move to eat it.

"Jace," Jaina sighed. "Haven't you spent enough time fasting? C'mon, give yourself a break."

Jacen heaved a weary sigh. "Jay, as much as I want to, I can't." His stomach disaggreed and gave a mighty growl.

Chuckling Jacen said,"I won't eat until I find what I'm missing. I mean..."

Jaina's brow furrowed in concern. "Go on."

"There is this emptiness inside. No matter how long I meditate, I can't fill it."

"Hmm."

They sat there, both buried in their own thoughts.

"Well," Jaina said, starting to get up. "I have a meeting with General Celchu."

Jacen stood to give her sister a hand, but stopped when she scowled. "I can do it. I'm not crippled."

When she got up, she hugged her twin. "Jacen, I hope you find what you're looking for." Her tone lowered. "And Jace, maybe the Force isn't the answer to everything."

As Jacen watched his sister walk towards the apartments, he sighed.

Jaina, you're probably right... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

okay! how was it?

Edited by tenelfan14

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Andy

Cool

tis a nice little story.... Is there any more? :D

Oh, and welcome to Galactic Basic!

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tenelfan14

Cool

tis a nice little story.... Is there any more? :D

Oh, and welcome to Galactic Basic!

yes there deffinetly is more. it's a full length story! :p well i'll post chapter 1 up in a minute, and chapter 2!

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tenelfan14

Chapter 1 Dantooine's grass, freshly sprinkled with dew, squished underneath Terana Beldan's feet.

She closed her eyes, breathing deeeply. Thumbing the switch to her lightsaber, she leapt. Somersaultng, Terana slashed twice, thrice, and landed.

She focused, trying to here her opponent. The birds twittered happily, cooming out of their nests from The Temple of the Martyrs. It was a newly built sanctuary for the Jedi, and sometimes used for a praxeum.

Her violet eyes scanned the area, but no matter how hard she tryed, she could not find her opponent. The teenager sighed, and was about to cut power in her sword when she heard a chalenging snarl.

She whipped around, "Master Lowbacca!"

"Rurrr." [Yes. Very good.] "Grrrr, ror, rur." [Next time, oppen yourself more.]

The wookie's midnihgt haired apprentice nodded. "Now, are we doing battle, or are we talking?"

Lowie grinned accepting the challenge. He circled her, his scarlet blade humming. She circled him, waitng for him to make the first move.

"Grr." [sometimes, we have to make a stab in the dark, take chances ya know.]

Terana nodded, then lunged at his side. The wookie sidestepped, and thrust his blade in a mock attack.

"Oh no you not!" She said, batting it away. Though only an apprentice, she hd learned alot in the two months. And she actually liked the sparing matches.

Terana attempted to feign a move towards his head, but mis calculated. She tumbled forward, switching off her blade.

"Master Lowie," pant. pant "Can we take a break?" pant

"Rur." [Why not?]

The big wookie sat down net to his apprentice. Just four moths earlier his frienda and he had been ceremoniously dubbed jedi masters. A short time later, while Mara and Luke Skywalker had taken there yearly vacation, a new student arrived. Not many teachers remained, and few stayed at the praxium. After a little bit of coaxing, Lowie had his first apprentice.

He didn't mind it much really. Terana was a human of sixteen, and reminded him of Jaina. Constantly she tinkered with machines, but she didn't mind being pampereed and loved in attention. In a way, like Tahiri.

Lowie chuffed at the thougth.

"What"

Lowie shook his head. "Ror."[Thinking...]

"If you say so."

She got up, and met Lowie eyes.

Your so sad, your just a sad eyed girl. "Thanks Lowie for sparing with me. I really needed to the help."

Lowie growled his repliy as she walked away. As the wind ruffeled his hair, the wookie scratched the dark streak. If only I could help her find her way.

Terana hadn't told Lowie much about her past. Only that somewhere out in the galaxy was her long lost brother. If only they knew where he was...

If only....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

okay so?

and that so sad, just a sad eyed girl came from a song by Kevin Max.

And i know that it was short, but chapter 2 is really long. i'll post a teser later today.

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tenelfan14

okay here is chapter 2:

~~~~~~~~~~

Shen Tsuni wiped sweat off of his brow and sighed. The musty air of Eriadu was toxic and he gagged at the smell.

"Hurry up human!"

Shen rolled his eyes. The native's were proud aliens, always taking advantage of a human employee.

"Just a minute Rex." Shen snapped, loading the rest of the cargo into the frigate.

Rex walked up, his scaly hide glistening with sweat. "Boy, don't get uppity around me. Or else..'"

Shen chuckled. Always and forever trying to be tough.

"Get in the ship already!!" Rex grunted.

Shen made his way up the ramp, and into the bulkhead. "Aagh!" the smell was repulsive, and he had to force himself not to lose his lunch.

"Rexxie, darlin..." Shen's head shot up. Standing in the bridge was a female Ryn. Obviously, she had been the culprit to the stench.

Rex walked up to her, and entangled his clawed hands in her fur. "Right here babe."

The Ryn purred, but Shen shuddered. "Where are we's headed?"

Rex grinned slyly. "To Kessel of course."

"Wait a minute!" Shen objected. "We said nothing about Kessel, in the contract."

Rex turned around. "Oh yes we did. It said, 'i herby agree to labor in any situation my employer puts me in',"

Shen straigtened. "There was no such thing!"

Rex' eyes narrowed dangerouly, and shen could smell the twing of Correlian Ale. "You want to say that again?"

Calm down, calm down. "No. Forgive me."

"Aww, isn't he cute. Whats yowr name dawl?" The Ryn cooed.

"Sh-"

"He isn't important." Rex said . "C'mon, I have a suprise for you."

The Ryn giggled, and Shen suppresed another involuntary shudder. Why me?

***

"Alright, that looks like it's it! Good job people!"

The air was filled with sighs of relief, and muttered curses. But, Zekk didn't notice.

Towering before him now, was a masive durecrete statue. He had worked three, long torturous months slaving away at what was now one of the greatest monuments to ever be built in Coruscant's long history.

After the war's end, Zekk had stayed at coruscant, as part of the recunstructive party. Part of the old planet remained grass lands, while the other parts had been rebuilt. It was beautiful now, the epitome of unity.

Now, in front of the newly reconstructed Senate building, stood a monument that was made to last for eons to come. It was hand carved, and about forty meters high. It was a Jedi, in all it's glory, with lightsaber in pouch as a sign of peace. the eyes, though gray, took on a sort of pleading look, as if to remind people of the heartache of war.

It was a body of a single Jedi, yet resembled the generations of Jedi in the past, present, and future.

Zekk sighed again, and made his way home. "Home", was a small apartment where he had lived alone. But now there was one more occupant.

The old trader Pekhum was weak in his old age and Zekk felt it was his duty to take after the only family he had ever known.

Opening the door he called, "Pekhum, I'm home." Zekk threw off his shirt. "Man Pekhum, you should see it. It's a beut."

The apartment was eerily silent. "Pekhum?"

Zekk's danger senses tingled. Dread filled his soul.

He rounded the corner, and opened up his bedroom door. "Pekh-"

The sight he saw made his throat close up. The scene forever etched in his memory.

Force!! "NO!!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MUAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! i love cliffies. don't you? :p

this was going to be long, but i decided to leave it hanging. i'll post more if ya review.

oh yeah, those words that looked like typos that the ryn spoke were just supposed to accentuate her accent.

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tenelfan14

okay this is pretty long!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 3: Lets Go Back to the Beginning

"Terana! Get in the ship!"

"I can't leave you!" The young girl screamed with anguish.

"You have to!"

"Dad..." The dark haired child ran to her father, and let her tears fall unashamedly.

"My Baby..." He let go of her, and held her at arms length. "Where's my soldier go? Huh?" He stroked her tear stained cheek.

"She's g-gone Daddy!" She choked on a sob caught in her throat.

The ground shook with the impact of a blast. Blaster fire filled the air.

"Now go!" The man said, yanking his blaster out of it's holster, ripping it in the process. He shoved his daughter forward, and fell to the ground as a plasma cannon fired.

"Renolth! Take her!" He looked towards his son.

Renolth nodded gravely, and ran, picking up his sister in the process.

"Daddy!!!" She screamed. She struggled out of her brother's grip, and ran to pick up the dropped holster.

"Terana! Get back here now!"

She turned to her older brother and ran. Together they jumped on the ramp just before it closed.

Her Dad's blaster was firing rapidly. Something went wrong and he fell.

"No!!!!"

She jumped, and hit herself against the ramp.

She wasn't thinking, she was acting. She savagly tore at the durecrete, hoping that she could create a hole.

Strong arms grabbed her, and she struggled, but they wouldn't let go.

"Renolth! Stop!"

"Shhh. It's okay," the thirteen year old cradled his sister.

Her shirt was wet from his tears, but she didn't care. She didn't care about anything anymore.

"Shhhh." He rocked her back and forth. Together they cried, tears melding into one river of sorrow.

"Daddy!" Terana Beldan cried, her chest heaving with internal sobs.

She jerked out of her trance as a hairy paw landed on her shoulder.

Lowie's face shown with grave concern. "Rurr. Growlll"

[That's enough for today.]

Terana nodded, taking a deep shaking breath. "Thank you Master Lowie."

He growled his words of comfort.

Her raven hair swirled around her, revolving like a cloud of darkness.

Lowbacca had agreed to help her deal with her painful past, and through these daily sessions of mind melding, they both learned someting of one another, and about her past.

She sighed, and shook her head as thunder rumbled through in the distance. Her memories were so distorted, she didn't know when she had thought so cleary.

"Ruurrr."[We should probably go back inside.]

Terana nodded, her eyes glazing over in reverie. "Actually, you can go back. I'd like to stay out here."

Lowie looked warily at the gray skies, but said he's let his apprentice alone.

When he had left, the rain started falling. For all the drops of rain that fell, Terana felt a prick in her heart.

She layed down, allowing the rain to drench her. Tears of her own joined the ones already falling. It was cleansing.

~*~

"Alright Skip, I see Dantooine just ahead." Zekk informed his astromech.

He had come here to talk to Lowie about a special mission.

Memories flooded his mind, including the most gruesome of them.

Just the week before, Zekk had left Coruscant, pained and heartbroken. The death of his godfather was still fresh in his mind, still raw in his heart.

No, not death. It was murder.

He could still see the blood on the walls, as if it were yesterday.

There, on his bed, lay a battered and bloddy corpse. It wasn't even recognizable, and he only could identify it because of the stringy hair, that still showed gray through the blood.

He had been viscously cut, beaten, and and maybe even raped. It was horrid.

Zekk shuddered with disgust. It was inhuman, sick, perverted, and just plain wrong. Pekhum was harmless, and Zekk knew of no enemies the old man had.

His eyes stung with uncried tears, his heart collapsed under the weight of un spoked words of mourning. He was numb.

As he directed the ship through the pouring rain, he saw Lowbacca waiting.

The rain pelted him, and the shy seemed to be crying for all the tears of despair that had yet to fall.

Lowie wrapped him in his large form, offering comfort through their Force bond. All of the young jedi knights had thought of Pekhum as a sort of uncle.

Now he was gone, another loved one lost to the torements of the galaxy.

"Come. We must talk."

The two ran inside, drenched from head to toe.

Settling by the welcomed fire, Zekk started. "Lowie, you and I both know that Pekhum death was no accident. Something's going on."

Lowie rurred his agreement.

"That is why I-" Zekk trailed off, Lowie's expression cutting him off.

Standing in the entryway was very wet Kam Solusar, and in his arms was an equally drenched and limp Terana Beldan.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MUAHAHAHA! :evil:

Edited by tenelfan14

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tenelfan14

what do ya think?

Edited by tenelfan14

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Andy

Well, it appeals to my evil side... *cackle*

I'm enjoying reading this. :D

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Andy

And I'm waiting for the next part... Happy birthday by the way! lol

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tenelfan14

Chapter 4

world spun out of control, colors staying the deepest of black. Confusion swarmed in the depths of that abyss. Through the torment, the fire, and the pain, a single voice called out.

?Terana?? Again it called, sounding so peaceful, like a small brook.

?Terana, oh my precious child. I love you??

The confusion stopped, and all was silent except for that little voice.

?Terana! Please!?

Terana Beldan awoke with a jolt. Where am I?

The walls were washed with white, and she could smell sweet aromas wafting towards her.

Terana bolted upright, her midnight hair plastered to her face. Right away she regretted it as her hand flew to her pounding head.

?Shh. Don?t move Terana. Let your body rest.?

Tionne?s warm face swam hazily into view.

As Terana lay back down on the hard bed, she asked huskily, ?What happened??

Tionne handed her a glass of water and told her what happened while she happily slurped away. ?As far as we know, you fell unconscious in the rain.?

Terana fell silent as it all came back to her. The pain, the torment, everything she had tried to wash away was still there. Unexpected tears rolled down her cheeks.

Tionne sat down on the side of the teenager?s bed. ?Terana, may I tell you a story??

Terana shrugged.

?There once was a young girl,? Tionne began; her silver eye?s boring deep into her patient?s soul. ?This young girl had suffered a many great tragedies by the age of twelve, and was determined to overcome the circumstances. One day, she pushed herself too far.?

By now, Terana was wide awake.

?She started giving in to her fears. She hid from the world, darkness shrouding her mind.?

?What did she fear?? Terana asked.

?People. She feared people. They had done some horrible things to her, and she had let them win. She had given them the victory when she sank into depression. And when the pain got to great?she-she...? Tionne struggled to get the words out. ?She broke. Mentally, spiritually; her whole world came tumbling down. And when the single person she loved fell, she could not help him. It took years to heal from such wounds, but in the end, she fought back.?

Terana looked back with mild skepticism.

Tionne sighed a motherly sigh. ?The point is Terana, don?t let the pain win. Don?t let your enemy triumph! Show them defeat!?

?But how will I carry on by myself?? Terana whispered her violet eyes round and searching. ?I can?t do this by myself.?

Tionne patted her on her back. ?That is why you have us. Lowbacca is already helping you, and we have even called on Master Veila.?

?Master Veila??

?Yes, Tahiri Veila. I very kind young woman who has gone through things, not far from your own experiences.?

Terana nodded, stifling a yawn.

?Now drink some more water and get some rest.?

Terana obeyed, falling into a fitful night?s rest.

~*~

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Andy

I need an applaud smilie. lol :D

Keep up the good work.

*wonders why nobody else comments on fanfic here*

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Ender

I read it, but then I forget to comment. This is a very good story... I'm enjoying it. Keep up the good work.

Now, if you'd all mosey on over to the three fics that I've posted... :p

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tenelfan14

Chapter 5: Feel the Thunder

Jaina sighed for what seemed to be the thousandth time. Nervously she paced back and forth in the dim, narrow hallway. She could her faint murmmering in the room to her right. The room where her brother lay.

She didn't know what happened exactly, just that her neighbor Arani had found Jacen lying unconscious in the mud. If it weren't for her, he probably would have suffocated.

Jaina sucked in a sharp breath as she remebered his pasty skin, and rolled back eyes. Nothing about his condition had been reported to her yet, and all she knew was that this was his fifth day to be in a coma.

"Jaina!" She jumped around and saw Jag hurrying toward her. She sank into his arms, willing the tears away.

Jag just held her for a moment, rubbing her shoulders, and giving her the silent comfort she needed. "I tried leaving as soon as possible, but father suffered a relapse."

Jaina looked up with even more pain in her eyes. "I'm sorry Jag..." she looked away, angrily blinkning the tears back. "Everything is falling apart just when it all seems perfect."

"I know." Jag whispered, kissing the top of her shaking head. "I know."

He was trying to think of something else to say when the door to Jacen's room whished open. Leia walked out, her chocolate eyes moist.

"Hey Jaina, Jag." She said softly.

"How is he Mom?" Jaina asked while her head stayed burried.

"He's still in his coma. Herb is doing everything for him, but all we can do is wait."

Jaina didn't say anything as her face squnched up in pain. Jag was well aware of his shirt fastly growing wet. He rocked back and forth on his heels, soothing his wife as if a small child.

Please get better Jacen....

*~+~*

Somewhere, far beyond the reaches of comprehension, yet so near, Jaina Solo's silent plea was heard.

Suddenly, many cries joined it, all weeping their own sorrow, singing their own mornful tune. It echoed through ther universe, but only one heard it all.

"Yes, my children, your sobbing will stop."

The universe sparkled so brightly as the voice spoke. "Jaina Solo..." The voice whispered. "Ah, yes. You're a strong one. But not strong enough. You need some help."

His flaming gaze fell upon another. "Terana Beldan." He chuckled. "Oh my child, how blind you are. Don't you know I love you? I guess you will see in time."

The heavens seemed to ring with his laughter.

*~+~*

yeah, sorry it's short

Edited by tenelfan14

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Mickey

good visuals and word use... some may be stretched a bit too thin though. A hypocritical piece of advice would be proofread (but when I get done with a story I'm too excited to proofread). Great though, wanna say serious potential, but it already is good...perhaps potential to be even better?

you know you could comment on mine too...you have great skill and your input would be appreciated

Edited by Jaerstein Cysee

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Guest Joyfox7

I cried... JACEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😭

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