Random Rant and venting thread for general or specific rage

[Mara 29]

Haha, true.

[Andy 60]

No, I think they generally hate everyone else :p

[Ayingel 24]

...i thought they hated themselves.

[Drake 53]

Beeurd's just emo and doesn't want to admit it. :p

[Andy 60]

Meh! :p

[Ana 15]

They hate themselves AND everyone else. :p

[Mara 29]

*cry*

I really, really hate writer's block.

[Drake 53]

That crying sounds a little too emo for my liking.

[Uncle Du 22]

:rofl:

[Ayingel 24]

quick! hide all the red sharpies!

[Rogue 4]

And the pointy objects!

[Drake 53]

And the crappy music!

[TheUnknown 39]

Okay, I've been working at my job since January. As I've said before, I work for a research institute that's part of the college I go to. We do research (land use, surveys, etc.) from non-profits and government agencies. My boss is my academic advisor.

Overall, it's a damn good job. Flexible hours. Internet access. Chances for free food. Air conditioning. I like everyone I work with. It's a good resume entry. I can print out papers, etc. for classes for free. Good pay. And so on.

We're working on a telephone survey, among other things, right now. I hate calling on the phone to begin with. It's just not in my personality. I get nervous when I call people. Plus, you have people who just assholes because, among other things, they think we're telemarketers, or they have no value of the survey. I literally gag everytime I do it. And I've said before I hate doing this, in a nice, humorous way.

I do make some calls, but people keep giving me other stuff to do for other projects such as finding census data maps, finding statistics, making copies, finding reports, etc.. So, I work on that, interspersed with breaks, etc.

Today, as she was walking out the door, the associate director (second in charge) said something to the effect of "It's creating a problem in the office" and that she doesn't want to have to talk to Carol (my advisor and the director) about it.

I'm kind of at a loss on how to act now. One the one hand, this pisses me off. While, like I said, I take breaks and work on stuff for school, it's not like I'm sitting at my computer doing nothing while everyone else is working to fill the quota for that telephone survey. And the things I have been doing are things Carol and Kelleigh (who is in charge of the survey lab) have asked me to do. I know the telephone survey is important, but so are the other things. And if one's more important, then tell me.

It also has me paranoid. "Creating a problem in the office" for who? Is Carol telling me how much I've improved and how good of a job I'm doing to my face then talking behind my back. Is someone else?

It has me at a combination of sad and scared. There's a lot riding on this job for me. It's my carpayment. It's my ticket to a social life. It will help me in getting an assistantship to pay for grad school. It's my funds for contacts and other essentials. And so on. And I'm worried that there is something else beneath this.

Then again, maybe I've just mis-interpreted what she said and making a mountian out of a mole hill. I don't know I home so.

I feel like I need to say something about it, but I'm not sure how. Like I said, I like everyone I work with, including the Associate Director.

Edited September 21, 2007 by TheUnknown

[TheUnknown 39]

This is a little e-mail I sent to myself to help me word things:

I might just be mis-interpreting what you said yesterday, but I don't want you or anyone else to think I'm just setting at my desk not doing anything while everyone else is making calls because I am working on projects or that I'm prolonging what I'm working on just to get out of it. I don't like calling, but I'm not going to stoop to that. And I was told those other projects were time sensitive, too. Now, if calling is more important than the other things, please just tell me.

[Mara 29]

That crying sounds a little too emo for my liking.

:roll:

[Princess 35]

You think undergraduate work is expensive try grad school. That's a daunting task.

Don't remind me. I'm getting ready to apply for my Masters at the local university and I'm nervous

[Uncle Du 22]

This is a little e-mail I sent to myself to help me word things:

I might just be mis-interpreting what you said yesterday, but I don't want you or anyone else to think I'm just setting at my desk not doing anything while everyone else is making calls because I am working on projects or that I'm prolonging what I'm working on just to get out of it. I don't like calling, but I'm not going to stoop to that. And I was told those other projects were time sensitive, too. Now, if calling is more important than the other things, please just tell me.

I think that's a good way to iron everything out. If the second in charge of the lab has different priorities than the #1, then it will definitely be a cause for confusion. I like people to just be straightforward, and tell me what I need to do. Sounds like you're the same. And I do think you might be reading a little too much into it. From what it sounds like, this is the first time that anyone has ever said anything to you about your work. You're not going to just immediately lose your job. Just make sure that your concerns are addressed. :)

[TheUnknown 39]

Well, I talked to the Associate Director today. She said that was exactly the problem, some were thinking I wasn't doing anything, which is bullsith. She said she understood that I was working on other things, but the telephone survey takes priority. She was nice about it and made sure to ask me if I thought the standard of one complete per hour you work is fair and said I shouldn't be paranoid.

I'm still a bit perturbed, though that it was handled this way. Instead of telling me to hold off on other things right away, they waited so damn long to say anything and then said it in this way. Plus, we do stuff other than telephone surveys. In fact, I was hired to do what is called survey coding where you give each response a numerical value (ie. for race, 1 for white, 2 for black, 3 for Asian, etc.), input this number into a special computer program called SPSS. Then, you can perform statistical analysis and print out pretty charts from this data. So, the survey lab isn't even my primary job. What pisses me off even more is there are others who were working on other projects who have called far less than me who, to my knowledge, have not been talked to even though I know there have been complaints about as well.

So, overall, the morale at our office just took a bit of a dive. What's worse, we have more telephone surveys coming down the pipe. Hopefully, I won't have to deal with those, though.

[Uncle Du 22]

Dude, I totally feel your pain. Getting charged with doing things that you weren't even hired to do, it sucks. Though in the military, they can say, well, you signed the paper work, so you have to do what your superiors say. Which is PC for saying that a lot of the time you'll be a little bith. :p

[Andy 60]

We get the "you didn't hire me to do this" speech from time to time... To which I usually reply that I can go get their signed contract for them to re-read if they like... Which does actually have a paragraph to the effect of "you may be required to perform additional tasks as requested by the management team" or something like that.

[Radioactive Isotope 29]

i feel your pain too, Unknown. babysitting was not in my job description, and yet that's what i do. i babysit.

[Andy 60]

Sometimes I think my job is at a nursery... lol

[Chickenman 9]

So last week has been pretty ewoked up. It started with senior pictures last Friday. There's never been a good picture of me, ever. I usually try to cover that up by making the picture humerous, but I can't get away with that here. Here I have to smile and pretend I'm happy to have this picture taken. For every picture, there are two things that I'm always thinking about, how stupid my hair looks, and how disgusting my teeth are. Usually, I can cover up the teeth thing by faking a smile with my lips closed. Not this time, the photographer thinks I have a nice smile because she only got a glance of it, and keeps begging me to smile. I refuse. Meanwhile, my dad decides to be a jackass and try to make me laugh. But I can NOT show my teeth, so I end up with a grin more lopsided than Harrison Ford's. Only he can actually pull it off. My mouth is near diagonal and ugly as ewok. The photographer is grimacing to herself after every shot. I picked the normallest looking picture for my yearbook and got out of that, face red.

From there I head to my friend's house to hang out for one of our movie nights. Along the way, Lucy texts me, telling me how miserable she is. Great, rather than have fun with my friends, I have to go into damage control with Lucy. I get there, ask Lucy what's wrong, she won't tell me, and I give up. Throughout the night, I distance myself and try to have fun, seeing as today's already been sucky enough. Of course, Lucy's pissed at me on the car ride home. When I get back, she texts me, pissed out how I ignored her and didn't even ask what was wrong (I did) and saying that I didn't do enough for her, and by the way, she's started cutting again. I'm a terrible boyfriend for trying to have fun with my friends on what's already been a sucky day. Fine. I go to sleep.

Fast forward to Monday, where I have to audition for a spot on the theatre troupe of the youth group I belong to. I have one monologue that's supposed to be funny (it isn't) so I try to get into character. And end up making a fool out of myself. The people I'm auditioning in front of are my closest adult friends, and I acted like a child in front of them and making myself look like a fool. ewoking great.

So the next day, I'm second guessing everything. I have guitar class during school and then guitar lessons later. During both, the slightest mistake sends me freaking. I'm shaking with shame over nothing. Beating myself up over a missed note. Not only that, but social situations, talking with people...again, I keep making a fool of myself, acting awkward, saying something stupid, just embarassing myself. I'm on edge.

So then that night, around ten o'clock, Lucy texts me. We need to talk. Every once in awhile, she gets the idea that there's something gravely wrong with our relationship, and I need to calm her down and assure her that things aren't as bad as she's convinced herself. Only this time it's a bit different.

She was at youth group, which I guess is a Christian organization that all of my bible bashing friends go to. (And I do not use the term "bible bashing" loosley here) I guess sometime before that, Lucy had heard or read the passage about giving up your most treasured possession and god would triple your benefits. Apparently, right now, I'm her most treasured possession. So she wonders if she has to give me up. So apparently she's been reading and praying, and is under the delusion that God wants her to dump me. She brings this up at youth group, and my bible bashing "friends" agree with her, explaining that my relationship with Lucy can't possibly work out, because she's a christian, and I'm a fervent Atheist. And they keep pushing this idea on her. They completly back her up on this. Anyone sensible, christian or otherwise, might suggest maybe she's reading into this wrong. No, these people who I consider some of my best friends, push for her to dump me after nearly two years of dating. Especially Jenn and Liam, who have been dating only a few months less, and think they're the most perfect couple that ever lived, and are already practically engaged, and who seem to think they know all there is to know about relationships. So that night Lucy texts me to break up with me.

I point out that she's completly missing the point of the passage, and is about to throw away something great over nothing. At that point, she has to get off the phone, and I spend the rest of the night freaking out even more.

I avoid her as much as I can the next day, not wanting to talk about it. When she does catch up with me, she suddenly loves me again. And acts as if nothing happened.

Only something did happen. And I'm not sure if I still love her.

Mostly though, I'm pissed at my friends, who egged her on. I know that subconsciously they did it because of how I'm not part of their little jesus cliche.

So yeah, great ewoking week.

[Ayingel 24]

oh wow. first off, you are not a terrible boyfriend. if in person, you're as good of a guy as you are on here, you are not a bad boyfriend. if you were, neither of you would look so happy in those pictures that you posted. i really hope you get everything figured out. i know a little about what you're going though, but i'm staying out of it, since this is something that you need to figure out on your own. and that was really dumb of your friends. they really should have been pushing her like that...she maybe should have asked someone who knew more about that passage before deciding on anything about the two of you. i mean, you're technically not a possession...you are/were (since i'm not really sure how the two of you are looking at it at the moment) a part of her. would she have given up her family if that were the case? (sorry, i've been around robert a lot...picking up his habits...)

it does sound like maybe she's been having doubts or worries about the two of you anyway, tho, what with her being so upset and mad at you for no reason. i dunno...just, make sure you know what you want...and you might want to talk to your friends about what they were saying to her, and see what they would have done in her shoes and see if it was very fair to do that...

but about the auditions and the pictures? sith happens...everyone has a bad audition every now and then, but i'm sure it wasn't as bad as you made it seem.

also...sorry...looking back again, is she telling you she's cutting or did you notice it? because if she's using it as a complaint of inattention, that's a red flag right there. it seems like she's trying to make an ultimatum to you. be careful, okay?

[Chickenman 9]

She didn't tell me so much as she apologized. We've both done it in the past, but she relapses every once in awhile.

My friends will probably deny it and I'll just ewok things up worse between me and them.