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Drake

Santa Can't

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Drake

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each.

Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are not talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks.

This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second--3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that ''flying reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them---Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

A mass of nearly 600,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance -- this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reaches the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g's.

A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim considering all the high calorie snacks he must have consumed over the years) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.

:twisted: MERRY CHRISTMAS! :twisted:

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Roethlisberger

That's like in that Simpsons episode when Homer presents Flanders with scientific proof that there is no God.

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Andy

Unless of course that Santa has the ability to warp time, in which case he could spread his days work over as long as he wants. Hehe.

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Andy

Besides, this is very evil of you... Little children might come to this site and you've really upset them now.

*secretly congratulates Drake*

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Andy

Crushing the hopes and dreams of the masses is what I do best. :D

Yet your sig says "Live Free"... How ironic :p

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chozen

Unless of course that Santa has the ability to warp time, in which case he could spread his days work over as long as he wants. Hehe.

Just like as they said in taht film..

Oh and what was the point in making this thread? :p

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CorSec

A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim considering all the high calorie snacks he must have consumed over the years) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.

Ewww....gooey Santa....yet...so hilarious... :lol:

Anyways....YOU KILLED CHRISTMAS FOR ME! I HATE YOU! SANTA IS REAL! :p

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Drake

Anyways....YOU KILLED CHRISTMAS FOR ME! I HATE YOU! SANTA IS REAL! :p

Being able to reach out, touch that one little boy or girl and then to squeeze the joy and cheer out of them with my bare hands makes my day worth while. :twisted:

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Radioactive Isotope

wha--you mean Santa no real? *sob* :cry:

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Bad furday

There there....

*tries to give JM a pat on the back, but it becomes more of a karate chop across her left ear*

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CorSec

*shakes Drake's hand* Well done, you've traumatized CorSec!

That image of me with the cheeze almost did it...but Drake managed to throw me over the edge.....again....

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Bad furday

Really now? Hmmm...I'll have to come up with more things to do to that image of CorSec! :p

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chozen

*shakes Drake's hand* Well done, you've traumatized CorSec!

That image of me with the cheeze almost did it...but Drake managed to throw me over the edge.....again....

God.. That scared me useless.. The cheeze.. Melty.. On his face.. The images that image imame with, image.

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Radioactive Isotope

There there....

*tries to give JM a pat on the back, but it becomes more of a karate chop across her left ear*

*grabs Furday's hand and flips him hard onto his back*

now, now, let's not hurt ourselves. :p

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Eldar Galadhon

Sounds like Santa would've been in a lot of pain. Not too mention poor Blitzen.

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Ender

Heheh... I have a plate with Blitzen on it, and he's dead drunk, lol. In fact, we have an entire set of reindeer plates, each one with a separate theme. They're all quite funny.

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